Thanksgiving Patents - Part 1: To Eat the Bird You Must First Catch the Bird
Welcome to my new blog! The following is the first installation in a multi-part series exploring innovative and unusual patents that could help make this your best Thanksgiving celebration ever!
The Perfect Thanksgiving Dinner: Step 1
There would be no traditional Thanksgiving dinner without the star of the meal at the center of the table: the turkey. But before the turkey finds its way onto your plate several things must happen. For those of you who read Michael Pollan's, "The Omnivore's Dilemma," or Nina Planck's, "Real Food," and swore you would start eating fresher, less processed food - food the way nature intended it to be - here's your chance. This Thanksgiving why not hunt your own bird?
Naturally, there are plenty of advantages to this approach. Hunting gets you outside into the great outdoors. It's a good way to socialize and network. After all, some pretty big people in very high places have been known to hunt. Also, you are likely to develop a lot more compassion for what some people go through to insure the rest of us can eat. And finally, the prospect of actually shooting and killing a living thing will force you to reassess your meat consumption practices and what it really means to be a carnivore. That is, if you have to do the killing yourself will you still want to eat it?
Assuming you want to get outside more and meet new people, and you're not bothered by any of those pesky moral questions regarding the sanctity of life, then you'll need a good turkey decoy to start. For my money U.S. patent number 6,684,552 really delivers the goods. But you can take this recommendation with a grain of salt because, in the interest of full disclosure, I must first tell you that I am not a hunter and that I am a vegetarian! Ok, now that that's out of the way let me tell you how Otto A. Anders, III can help set you up for success on your next (or first) turkey hunting expedition.
Decoys are familiar tools to experienced hunters. In the past however, these decoys were merely stationary objects intended only to look like the game being hunted. This new and improved turkey decoy not only looks like a turkey, it moves like one too! Thanks to a remote controlled motor, Anders' decoy can imitate "movements of the bird when feeding" cleverly luring real birds out into the open with the false promise of something to eat! With the birds fully exposed and futilely looking for food, your success is practically guaranteed!
Think of the cheers, awe and admiration you will have earned when you emerge from the woods uninjured and carrying your Thanksgiving turkey! Fears of E. coli contaminating the meat supply in some meat processing plant out in the middle of nowhere will be a thing of the past for you and your loved ones. And let's face it, if your Thanksgiving table is the only one for miles around graced with the carcass of a bird you yourself caught, you will unofficially be your family's hero for many years to come. Then again, bringing a bird still dressed in all its feathers and bleeding from a bullet wound into your kitchen just might be enough to move the mashed potatoes from the sidelines onto the center of your table as the new star of Thanksgiving meals at your house! But that's beside the point.
Anyway, now that you've caught your bird I've got plenty of unusual patents to help you prepare the bird for your family and friends. So, be sure to log in tomorrow for the next installment of patents guaranteed to make this Thanksgiving your most memorable ever!