Pot Stinkers: The Top 10 Weird & Bizarre Japanese Toilet Brushes
A filthy toilet bowl is disgusting and dishonorable anywhere in the world but Japan seems to take the issue extra-seriously, if the country's plethora of overly cute, overtly complex and over-engineered toilet brushes is any indication. These 10 weird & bizarre Japanese toilet brushes bristle with innovations designed to turn every bathroom in the nation into a cause for water-closet celebration.
10) Porcelain Poodle Toilet Brush
At first glance one might assume the business end of this toilet brush is the cute & cuddly poodle's copious curly fur. Everybody now, "EWWWW!!"
Thankfully this isn't the case, as the down-in-the-dumps doggie is just part of the toilet brush's fussily decorative enclosure. It's also a tip to what you'll be seeing much more of as we proceed through this list: cute critters gazing lovingly at you while you answer nature's call. Yep, when using the facilities in Japan it's recommended one leave both shyness and dignity outside the bathroom door. (Japanese toilet brush via Rose Rich)
9) Wine Bottle Toilet Brush
So you've had a bit too much to drink and it's time to call Ralph on the porcelain phone, but you're not quite "tired" enough to express the required technicolor yawn. Good thing this bathroom is equipped with a Wine Bottle Toilet Brush holder from Japan's Kokubo!
Just the thought of guzzling cheap wine in a bathroom should be enough to open the sluices and whatever sluices happen to open, you're in the right place at the right time. On the other hand, social-climbing homeowners eager to impress gossipy guests will suspend the brush in actual wine - it's the next best status-booster to having a gold-plated commode. (Japanese toilet brush via KOKUBO/Amazon.com)
8) Flower Restroom Brush
Does your bathroom exude a lush, humid, tropical atmosphere? Ours does after someone showers but many happy homemakers want to maintain the natural vibe 24-7. Plus, not all bathrooms HAVE showers, especially in space-challenged Japan.
One solution is the Flower Toilet Brush from Orosi Donya. This larger-than-life lily acts as the handle of a toilet scrubber, the brushy end of which is secreted within a curious faux-brick enclosure that swivels open like an ICBM missle launcher when the brush-handle is lifted. Who could resist playing with this thing instead of cleaning with it? Just don't show it to Vladimir Putin. (Japanese toilet brush via Orosi Donya)
7) Stump Toilet Brush
What is this, a toilet brush for beavers?? No friends, it's just one more way Japanese homemakers have of hiding that-what-must-not-be-seen: the unspeakably hideous yet omnipresent toilet brush! Odd, then, that so many of these designs draw attention to what's intended to be disguised. But back to the Stump Toilet Brush... if Paul Bunyan had one of these, it'd be carved from a chopped & channeled Sequoia. (Japanese toilet brush via Arne Interior)
6) Classical Marble Statuary Toilet Brushes
People have been doing what people (and proto-people) have done "regularly" since the dawn of time, and we have the un-flushable coprolites to prove it. With this time-honored pursuit in mind, we present an assortment of faux-marble toilet brush sets capable of causing Caligula to blush.
Choose from four more-or-less bathroom-related statues including The Thinker, Venus de Milo (how does she... nevermind), Michaelangelo's under-endowed David and of course, Mannekin Pis. Good thing they didn't have a Mannekin Poops but we think The Thinker's got that angle covered. (Japanese toilet brushes via FancySale)
5) Smiling Froggy Toilet Brush
For many of us, bathroom breaks are treasured times where quiet contemplation and a break from anxiety are paramount. Being watched - even by inanimate objects - is a definite mood-breaker to say the least.
Having the grotesque, bulging-eyed, grinning anthropomorphic Froggie Toilet Brush holder above staring intently and unblinkingly as you perch precariously on the porcelain platform would seem to be the epitome of anxiety. We're not sure what could be worse... maybe a Poltergeist Clown Toilet Brush holder. (Japanese toilet brush via Zakkaya-Free)
4) Black Cat Toilet Brush
Suspicious types try to avoid having a black cat cross their path but OMG... what if the black cat is in the bathroom? You stay the heck OUT of that bathroom!
Speaking of suspicion, one might, er, suspect a fastidious Japanese mother installed this Black Cat Toilet Brush just to keep her grotty kids from using the "for company only" little carved soaps in the miniature basket beside the sink. (Japanese toilet brush via Rakuten/Yukinekoya)
3) The Toilet Brush Approved By 200 Housewives
Japanese housewives aren't to be trifled with and any consumer products company worth their salt had best treat them with the utmost respect... to the lady of the house, all that "new & improved" ad crapola goes over about as well as day-old sushi.
That's why Marna set out to design the ultimate toilet brush they dispensed with the usual whiz-bang marketing mojo and went directly to the source: a couple of hundred actual Japanese housewives. The end result was the Brand New Toilet Brush: no smiley faces, no extraneous fluff, no fun. Because that's what cleaning a toilet is all about, amiright? (Japanese toilet brush via Japanorama)
2) Pinocchio Toilet Brush
Hey Pinocchio, how do you like cleaning toilets? You love it? Really and truly?? We thought so, and odds are ol' splinter lips secretly longs for the "pants on fire" punishment instead.
Kudos to the designer of this toilet brush, a guy or gal who likely spent untold days and weeks racking their brain to find some original way of interestingly expressing both functionality and fun in such a simple utilitarian object. It's a pity Pinocchio and the concept of a wooden boy whose nose grows when he tells a lie itself isn't original. Cue Disney's lawsuit in 3.. 2.. 1.. (Japanese toilet brush via Zakkaz)
1) HELP! Toilet Brush
The HELP! Toilet Brush set accomplishes much with very little – only the desperately outstretched tiny hand atop the handle differentiates it from any other run-of-the-mill toilet brush and holder. That hand, though... imagine going down for the third time in a basin of stagnant toilet water. Blecch!
Those with some aptitude in the painting department may want to makeover the HELP! Toilet Brush set with a decidedly American accent as the Deliverance Toilet Brush set. It would make a great gift for anyone not named Jon Voight. (Japanese toilet brush via Plywood/YAHOO! Japan)
If you thought the humble toilet brush doesn't rate a heavy investment in design, engineering and intensive focus-group testing in real world situations, then you (a) haven't been to Japan and (b) fully deserve the miserable toilet brush you're using right now... well, not right now but you get the point. I think we're done here; don't forget to wash your hands on the way out. (top Japanese toilet brush image via Kori-Marin)
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