Top 10 Anti-Recession Businesses of 2009: Ludicrous Luxuries

In honor of the theme of saving money during the recession, I'm counting down the top 10 anti-recession business services of 2009. These businesses are fine examples of innovative concepts; I just can't help but think that when times are tough with the economy, there are better ways to keep money in your pocket. If you're prepared to splurge, embrace these businesses with open arms. But if you need to pinch your pennies, consider a more recession-friendly alternative to these businesses services because these concepts were not created for times when money matters.

10. Figuring Out is an adult career coaching business and job placement program for adults looking to make a career change. With job stability in question in the US, I think it goes without saying that now might not be the right time for a career change. And, while Figuring Out does offer unique services for those in need of career help, their services come at a cost. Try your hand at making a career change on your own, instead of paying to work for free. While experience does count for something, every penny counts during a recession.

9. Eye Candy Caddies brings sex to the golf course, by offering attractive female caddies for hire. At the cost per game, golf isn't the most recession-friendly sport, but if you really need to hit the links, don't pay for your arm candy; find your own for free.

8. Ticket to Mind is a prepaid gift program in Brazil that for a monthly membership fee will ship tokens of affection to whoever strikes your fancy. For the 20 to 70 BRL monthly charges (approximately $8 to $30 USD) you can find a more recession-friendly and sincere gift giving option yourself.

7. Thats My Face is a unique business we introduced late last year, that specializes in facial analysis and reconstruction services. While they will show you what you'll look like in 40 years or as a different race for free; the costs come into play when you want to purchase your reconstructed face as a souvenir. Sorry, Thats my Face, but the recession-friendly answer here just isn't to purchase the highly frivolous statues of your head.

6. Celeb 4 A Day lets you live like the star you probably aren't just for one luxurious day. Their bank-breaking services are offered as a PR option for D-List celebrities or those simply wanting the celebrity experience. Celeb 4 A Day chases its clients with cameras, organizes their names to be screamed into the streets, and ensures they are pampered. With their celebrity experience packages at $299 to $1499, Celeb 4 A Day certainly isn't recession-friendly. Sit this one out, or steal the spotlight by organizing a charity event to give back to the less fortunate.

5. Dollar Hot Dog is a strange business idea that just keeps on coming up on my lists, because there's no denying that it's one of the dumbest business endeavors ever. If you're not familiar with Dollar Hot Dog, it's a home business that ships fully cooked and garnished hotdogs from southward facing mailboxes (which helps keep the wieners insulated and cooking en route) for your eating pleasure. Dollar Hot Dog may offer cheap hot dogs, but there are two main reasons why this concept is number 5 when it comes to anti-recession businesses. Firstly, cheap or not; you're wasting your dollar. Secondly, think of the medical bills when you get food poisoning when consuming their product.

4. Dog Leasing is a controversial business idea, in particular when it comes to talking about FLEXPETZ; a company that leases dogs out to those who don't have the luxury to have their own. We're talking about why businesses of this type are anti-recession, so we'll put aside the animal rights issues; but the bottom line is that you'll almost have to file bankruptcy every time you rent one of their dogs. At $99 per membership, plus $44 per day, and additional charges for transportation and more, if you really want a pet; get your own, and if you can't make the commitment, offer to puppy sit for a friend's dog (who knows, they might even pay you!)

3. League of Rock  is Toronto's answer to helping grown people live out their rock star dreams. League of Rock is a very cool business that gives aspiring musicians the full-cycle rock star experience, but naturally, it might require you to sacrifice your first born. The 10-week program is attempting to be recession-friendly by offering a discount rate at just $98 per week, but at that cost, you might be better of just starting your own garage band. Don't let them tell you you're too old; it's a recession.

2. Rent a Relative company I Want To Cheer Up Limited employs method actors for hire, so consumers can fill any voids in their families. The rent a relative service gives women trial husbands, a hand around the house, or bodies to fill seats and weddings and funerals. The Japanese company gives no indication upon price, since it varies dependent upon your rent a relative needs; but it can't be cheap. Instead of going with this business that is anything but recession-proof, get out there and make some friends.

1. The Something Store is an online company which ships consumers a something surprise. Shoppers don't request what they order, so they can receive just about anything; from really cool useful items, to those that are lucky if they don't end up at the bottom of the recycling bin. Some lucky recipients have received iPods or GPS systems, while others were unfortunate enough to receive single keys from a computer keyboard and freeze dried herbs. There's no denying that this weird and wacky business is based on a very cool business concept, but a more recession-friendly answer is to go out and buy yourself something you need.