Venus De Milo, Armed And Fabulous – Thanks To Japan's 2channel
Japanese Internet forum 2channel (2ちゃんねる, ni channeru, or “2ch” for short) has grown enormously in size and influence since it was founded in 1999, and its legendary threads have covered just about every topic imaginable. Was starting a “I tried putting arms on the Venus de Milo” thread an act of desperation by overly bored netizens, or an armless, er, harmless exercise in fun and creativity? Out of the hundreds of submissions, I've chosen a dozen of my personal faves.
Venus, you rock... and you're ready to tour with the Rolling Stones or even better, the Stone Temple Pilots. I don't see any amps but if there were, you can bet they'd be turned up to 11 BC.
Now those are sleeves you can believe in! The contrast between the fluffy mambo sleeves and the cool white marb... hey, there's really no point trying to explain the unexplainable. Shake them maraccas, baby!
Talk about being armed and dangerous: Cherry Darling, you've met your match! Pygmalion may have loved his statue but I'm guessing Quentin Tarantino will love this one.
“I caught you a delicious bass...” and it was THIS big!
Classic is as classic does, and this elegant Venus does it up in style with eternally fashionable, ultra-long, red leather opera gloves. Just the thing for a night out at the amphitheater when “A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum” is playing.
Gladiator? So am I, but let's get back to the topic at hand (sorry, Venus). This warrior Venus looks like a cross between the Man In The Iron Mask and Janet Jackson about to have a wardrobe malfunction. Sez Venus, “I never helmet a man I didn't like.”
Venus de Mobile
This pose looks eminently modern but hey, even if the ancient Greeks had cellphones it wouldn't be a problem for an armless Venus: she'd use a hands-free.
Spare me the criticism, this is indeed a striking pose. And so what if she's topless? Get your mind out of the gutter, OK?
Giant metal lobster claws meets “Clamps” from Futurama? This version of Venus might not be your choice for a romantic dream date but at least she can crack open your beer in seconds flat.
In Classical Greece, statue carve you!! If Luke Skywalker didn't have family dysfunction issues before, he sure does now.
Venus de Mariners
“Now batting 5th (century BC)...” She may have never won a Gold Glove, but the Venus de Milo is a unanimous choice as the Greek Goddess of Walks.
Who's awesome? She's awesome! What's more, she can flash the double peace sign better than Nixon – or the 95% of Japanese who do it while posing for a photo. And dig that groovy bow tie – looks like someone's all set to crash your toga party... at Delta House, of course! (via Akiba Today and Waranote)
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