7 Ways To Vote For President With Your Tongue
Like McCain? Buy some McCain Monsoon. If you prefer Obama, vote for his Yes We Can Cola. And if Ron Paul's your man, vote for the Ron Paul Dave's Gourmet Hot Sauce. Yes, food lovers. If you'd rather support your candidate with your taste buds than your t-shirt, here are seven hot companies cashing in on the political season and tallying your votes for President. Oh, you can vote more than once in these Presidential races; actually, it's encouraged.
1. Baskin-Robbins Flavor Debate '08
Nice ring to Flavor Debate '08. Baskin-Robbins wants you to vote for your favorite flavor, but the two flavors are marked with two presidential candidate's own branding. You've got the Straight Talk Crunch, a white chocolate ice cream with caramel ribbon, chocolate pieces, candy red states and crunchy mixed nuts... and then you have the Whirl of Change, a peanut-nougat ice cream whirled with chunks of chocolate-covered peanut brittle and a caramel ribbon. (Excuse me, I'm going to Baskin-Robbins for a taste of each and then a pint of something!)
Because it's ice cream and B-R is not going to send it to you, you can actually vote for the flavor (President) here without tasting it, which is cheating a bit. So go find a B-R and taste!
2. L.A. Burdick Selection 2008 Chocolates
This is some serious chocolate. L.A. Burdick makes pretty pricey, but scrumptious, hand-made chocolates, so even if you are running for President, it's quite an honor to have Burdick create chocolates especially for you. After a brief biographical paragraph on each candidate, providing details that support Burdick's choice of ingredients and names for the chocolates, each special chocolate is introduced.
Obama's chocolates are named Hawaiian-Pineapple, Kenyan Coffee, Kansas Corn Crunch, and Tennessee Sour Mash. McCain's selection is Arizona Citrus, Hot Pepper Tequila, Peanut Butter, and Kentucky Rye. Please visit L.A. Burdick yourself if you want descriptions of each delectable piece; recording them for you will only make me have to run out to See's (my closest chocolatier).
Vote with your purchase!
3. Dave's Gourmet Presidential Candidate Hot Sauce
Some like it hot! Dave's Gourmet is said to make the hottest sauce north of Tabasco, Mexico. One of the online stores selling Dave's Candidate Hot Sauce is RoJo's Gourmet Foods, and the store encourages you to vote with your (burning) tongue as many times as you want for as many candidates as you like. You can vote for Ron Paul, as well as McCain and Obama, in the Candidate Hot Sauce election; but you can also vote for Rudy, Hillary, and Dave himself! Vote with purchase!
4. Kai's McCain and Obama Lollipops and Hard Candies
You get to lick your candidate in this election. Kai's does not make any old sucker either. Its pops and candles are hand-rolled in a centuries old Japanese candy making method, kumi ame, that makes colors seep through the whole candy. So, at least your candidate will be 2-dimensional! Below are the presidential candy designs made by hand; no two suckers are alike (despite what some may think).
Aren't they neat?
And now, here they are in their ready to vote packages. Oh yes, you can get a bi-partisan candy set, but your vote won't count. Don't be wishy washy!
Purchase your vote!
5. Jones Soda Campaign Cola 2008
Time for quenching the thirst after all that candy and hot sauce. Jones Soda, now with pure cane sugar in its drinks, has a buy your vote plan that includes John McCain, Barack Obama, Ron Paul (who you didn't think could be bought) and even Hillary Clinton. Vote for your candidate with a six pack of Pure McCain Cola, Yes We Can Cola, Ron Paul Revolution Cola or Capitol Hillary Cola. Yes, you can buy a six or 12-pack of colas and all the bottles will be counted. Purchase your vote here!
6 Half Moon Bay Mavericks Alection 08
No, I didn't spell it wrong. Alection as in "Ale election." Half Moon Bay. a no-slouch brewing company on the northern California coast, is promoting its yummy amber ale presidential Alection in California only. If you're here on business or vacation, it's okay to vote in the Alection, even if you're registered to vote in another state, but you have be physically in California to purchase your McCain or Obama Mavericks Amber Ale. Purchase on tap or in bottles, where sold, or they can be shipped in minimums of four bottles to California addresses (considered absentee votes). Bottoms up! Vote here California!
7. Fresh Bean Coffee Bean Vote
Rounding out our beverage selections, coffee drinkers may make the final selection of the President. After all, coffee conasseurs are not what you would call undecided drinkers.
As it happens, Obama's childhood in Hawaii and Kenya played a big part in his taste for coffees, as the two locations have what is considered to be the finest coffee-growing areas in the world. Thus, the Obama Blend: Kona Extra Fancy and Kenya AA.
John McCain Monsoon coffee celebrates McCain's maverick reputation with Indian Monsooned Malabar, a coffee that goes through 12 weeks of wet monsoon winds that expands the beans and leaches out their acidity. According to Fresh Been Coffee, the McCain Monsoon is "an adventure!"
Purchase your vote here!
Wherever your tongue leads you to vote, vote early and vote often. You may not be able to vote for president again after Tuesday, November 4, 2008.