Want Cosmetic Surgery? Some Wacky Options to Consider

Do you feel like you need plastic surgery? Would you increase your bust, get a new chin or nose or trim off your belly?

Our nation is obsessed with looking youthful and beautiful. We spend billions a year on getting more shapely, youthful and attractive (as such is defined by our societal norms today).

Well, rather than plastic surgery - which is basically going to go get something cut, crushed, sucked, threaded, sawed off, or pumped into your body - I thought of some products that can dramatically help you change your appearance without resorting to cosmetic surgery. I mean frankly, with all the options available to change the way you look, I don't know why people would have to resort to going under the knife.

Rather than plastic surgery, I have here some wacky products to make you look umm...fabulous? Yeah..that's it...fabulous.

13. Tired of being called Rabbit or Buck-Tooth Barbie? If you want that Hollywood perfect smile:

See it here

12. Tired of being called mouse? If you want a new nose:

See it here

11. Tired of being called Stubby or Sausage? If your want longer fingers:

See it here

10. Tired of being called Blockhead? If you want a less square shaped head:

See it here

9. Tired of being called Ironing Board? You can be called Boobarella instead. If you want hot hooters:


See it here

8. Tired of being called Flat Ass? You can be called Rotunda instead. If you want an ass that jiggles when you move:

Silicone Butt PadsSilicone Butt Pads

"Designed for feminising and bottom sculpting, augmentation and hourglass contouring. Manufactured in medical grade, pure siloxane silicone these will replicate the feel of a woman's soft skin tissue and also embody the natural movement of a woman's bottom"

See it here

7. Tired of being called Toothpick or Olive Oyl? If you want a sculpted physique:

See it here

6. Tired of being called Jug Head? If you don't like your ears:

See it here

5. Tired of being called Lillipop or Chicken Neck? If you want a thicker neck:

See it here

4. Tired of being called No Bust or Mosquito Bite? Be called Headlights or Bouncy instead. If you want balloon like huge breasts:

Vacuum Suction Pump for Breast EnlargementVacuum Suction Pump for Breast Enlargement

"Professional effective breast sucking pump, with powerful vacuum pump, two sets of breast domes(cups) of different sizes for further firming up of breasts and enlargement under-development breasts with immediate result. The vacuum pressure Is adjustable, with both pulse vacuum sucking and continuous vacuum sucking selectable."See it here

3. Tired of being called Munchkin or Small Fry or Napoleon? If you want longer legs:

Human Body Stretcher

See it here

2. Tired of being called Bugs? If you want to get new eyes:

See it here

1. Tired of having to wear a bag over your head? Wear latex instead. You can now really be called Two-Face. If you want a whole new face:



Female Full Headed Latex Masks

See it here

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Well, this is my slightly eclectic collection of wacky products to change your looks for AmericanInventorSpot.com. I was trying to think of common nicknames ofr my article..but I couldn't come up with good ones. it's probably too early in the morning and my mind is not on alert yet. Or maybe the memories of my painful childhood are blocking out mean 3rd grader nicknames.

If you can think of ones to put in my article to make it less lame, I'd appreciate your sharing it in the comments below.

I am also curious as to what are some of the funniest insults or nicknames you have heard?

Discussion please!

May 28, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)


Do you think you ought to leave it on the front page--she is obviously about to EXPLODE!!!!!

May 29, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

How the heck is she supposed to use the bottlesling

if she has huge implants and twine to hold her breasts in place?

Hey, bottlesling guy: maybe you could come up with a long-handled mirror sling so that this nursing mother will be able to see past her breast and occasionally be able to get a glimpse at her infant's face!