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Want to Own the Most Powerful Action Figure Ever Made????

I'm not sure where to begin here...

I suppose I should say that I've never encountered an action figure that represents a more powerful entity.  Well, maybe the Deluxe Jesus action figure:

He looks like a nice guy...He looks like a nice guy...


He is the Son of God, after all.

And it must be noted that the Deluxe Jesus action figure can raise his arms to administer a blessing with his glow-in-the-dark hands.  And we all know that nothing says "miracle" like glow-in-the-dark hands...

I particularly like the little fish accessories.  And I have to wonder if the jug contains an infinite number of tiny sips of wine.

But, this article isn't about Deluxe Jesus.  It's about an action figure modeled after a Science Fiction icon, a miniature representation of an entity powerful enough to change the course of not only the human race, but of the entire galaxy.

What action figure am I talking about?

You should see the clothing accessories!You should see the clothing accessories!


Yep.  That's the Monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey and from the under-appreciated sequel, 2010: The Year We Make Contact-though that's not happened as I write this on October 20, 2010...  Nor do we have a way-cool moon base.  But we do have a space station (sans lounges and possible hotel rooms).

So, it's safe to say that reality hasn't quite matched the vision created by writer Arthur C. Clarke and envisioned in celluloid by directors Stanley Kubrick and Peter Hyams.

But, I digress...

The Monolith action figure is a rectangular block that measures 0.75 x 3 x 6.75-inches.  For those of you who have seen the films, this works out to a ratio of 1:4:9 (the squares of the first three numeric integers).  So the action figure is quite an accurate representation of this influential "character."  It has zero points of articulation.  So what you've got here is exactly what it looks like: a plastic, matte black rectangle.

Here it is in "action":


You can find the Monolith action figure at ThinkGeek.  They claim that it will actually cause other action figures to evolve-either by gaining more accessories or by becoming sentient.

All I can picture is this little guy crawling up my nose when I'm asleep...All I can picture is this little guy crawling up my nose when I'm asleep...

I'm all for the sentience thing-except for my Darth Vader figure.  I don't want to wake up and find him trimming my mustache with his little lightsaber.

If you can't tell by now, this actually began as an April Fools joke by ThinkGeek-but it garnered so much attention that the rumor mill has it going into production soon.  And, oddly enough, I think I'd buy it, if only to find out if my John Constantine action figure would try to bum a ciggy and a pint off of me.  He'd be a good drinkin' buddy.

For more info, check out the Monolith Action Figure at ThinkGeek!

Teaser Image by SMJJP