We All Scream: The World's 10 Weirdest Ice Cream Trucks


You'll find ice cream trucks trundling through our sweetest childhood memories but like so many relics of the “good old days”, these music-spewing dairy-dispensing vans have their pros and cones.



Nice Dreams, Nicer Truck


Great memories or just another flashback? The 1955 Chevy ice cream truck featured in Cheech & Chong's 1981 movie Nice Dreams isn't really weird in and of itself but just don't try operating any heavy machinery after you've sample some of Happy Herb's wares. (weird ice cream truck image via Flathead Mopars)



The Original Conehead


Mister Softee was founded in 1956 and todays boasts roughly 350 franchisees operating 600 trucks in 15 states... and since 2007, Mainland China. Who'd want to mess with that kind of success? We do: the Mister Softee mascot might have seemed charming way back when but time hasn't been kind and today it's more terrifying than the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters. (weird ice cream truck image via Gomming & Yowing)  



Stripped-Down Desserts


If Aphrodisiac Ice Cream operates Miami's hottest food truck, how in the heck do they keep the ice cream from melting? That's just one of the questions you'll be pondering while waiting for the servers to finish their pole-dancing routine atop the truck. Toto, we're not in Pleasantville anymore. (weird ice cream truck image via Miami New Times)



So Intense!


In her own words, “The Cone Queen is a Mobile Ice Cream Vendor and is also known as Sofija. An Albanian Australian who's a touch eccentric, a splash creative, a bit artistic and a true fun-loving woman.” Plus, the photo above featuring the Cone Queen van framed by a rainbow is just mind-blowing. What does it mean?? (weird ice cream truck image via Aesthetics Of Joy)



Evil Humor Man


Needles Kane (aka Sweet Tooth), the insane killer clown from the Twisted Metal game series, drives around in a demoniacally customized ice cream truck. Well of course he does. (weird ice cream truck image via Gallery Hip



Braaaiinzzz Freeze


So, have zombies jumped the shark yet? This bloody ugly ice cream truck just might be the straw that breaks the undead camel's back. “Watch Children”, huh? Guess that can be taken more than one way. (weird ice cream truck image via Jill Stanek)



Ice Cream Float


Give the Brits credit, when they decide to protest something they do more than just stand there with a misspelled sign. Case in point: HMS Flake 99, designed to cruise the river Thames raising awareness of the plight of ice cream truck drivers in the UK. It seems the number of “vans” has plummeted from 20,000 to just 5,000 over the past 50 years, in part due to ongoing campaigns against noise pollution and childhood obesity. (weird ice cream truck image via Daily Mail UK



Doggy Style


Don't feel too bad for our poor oppressed cousins in the Nanny State, at least they've got the K99 Doggy Ice Cream Truck... or at least their dogs do. Fido and Fifi can choose from two dog-friendly flavors: Dog Eat Hog World (pork and chicken sorbet topped with a biscuit) and Canine Cookie Crunch (mixed dog biscuits and dog-friendly ice cream). No word on what kind of music the truck blasts but we'll assume the frequency used is above the range of human hearing. (weird ice cream truck image via Animal Planet)



What Would Jesus Lick?


We're not sure where we've seen this guy before but he's AWESOME! Maybe someday, should self-proclaimed former meth addict Olivia Lopez-Grajeda get legal approval to launch “Ice Cream For Jesus” onto the mean streets of Manteca, she'll use this truck to spread her message of hope. (weird ice cream truck image via The American Jesus)   



Ice Cream Dreams


There ain't nuthin' cooler than sleeping in an ice cream truck bed, amiright? Well, as long as it doesn't play “Turkey In The Straw” at max volume on an endless loop as a lullaby. Serenity now, insanity later. (weird ice cream truck image above via Dude!!! I Want That, at top via Colossal)