What A Dump! The 10 Wackiest & Crappiest Toilets In China

Go to China they said, you'll have fun they said! You'll also visit a Chinese bathroom a time or two, unless the thought of patronizing any of these weird, bizarre, filthy, oddly designed and just plain NOPE Chinese toilets prompts an immediate change of travel plans.                 

Stand Your Ground

Student bodies do not work that way! Perhaps so, Morbo, but in a well-intentioned attempt to save water, a university in China's Shaanxi Province installed urinals – maybe we should call them “herinals” – in the women's restrooms.

They were also thoughtful enough to provide a stack of paper “pee guides” along with detailed instructions on their use. What could go wrong? Users are advised to wear wading boots when using the restroom late in the day. (crappy Chinese toilet image via Stareastasia

So Close Yet So Far...

Those funky fem-funnels (can we call them “Urethra Franklins”... please?) appeared to be the only paper in the stall so hopefully users are already in the habit of packing a roll on their person at all times.

The toilet above, on the other hand, has plenty of paper, no doubt due to the holder being mounted tantalizingly out of reach of those who need it most. Good work, cadre! (crappy Chinese toilet image via RocketNews24

Shack & Awe

China's major cities boast some seriously awesome public restrooms. Unfortunately these admirable advances in toilet technology haven't yet trickled down to some of the smaller rural towns and villages.

Take the above public restroom situated a two-hour drive from Kangding in Sichuan province, the land of panda bears and super-spicy food... uh oh. The ramshackle shotgun shack offers separate facilities (or at least, separate entrances) for men and women so it's got that going for it, which is nice. Adding insult to injury, it's a PAY-TO-POOP toilet. (crappy Chinese toilet image via Eric In Beijing   

Hail Stallin'!

Many tourists complain about the lack of privacy (among other things) endemic to Chinese public restrooms but the facility above has no such issues.

Those stall walls could double for office cubicles and who knows, they may yet do so should the building be sold. Offices tend to be cleaned once in a while, though. (crappy Chinese toilet image via China Non-Stop)  

The Anti-Perv Restroom

Public restrooms have a somewhat sordid reputation anywhere in the world but it's nice to see one Chinese contractor actually do something about it.

Thanks to the raised and cut-down doors on the individual stalls, wandering weirdos will surely think thrice before engaging in any deviated preversions. Problem solved! (crappy Chinese toilet image via RocketNews24)  

Where's Wall DOH!

Aren't you people EVER satisfied? You want toilet stalls with standard-sized doors, fine, you got 'em, but still you want more!

Just don't blame us should some deviated prevert try and take advantage of your precious privacy. (crappy Chinese toilet image via RocketNews24

Sample Stool

“Me Chinese contractor, me make joke..” OK, isn't being as low to the floor as possible the salient feature of traditional squat toilets? Here, however, you gotta step up to squat down.

Perhaps the contractor discovered he was long on masonry but short on piping. Perhaps this thing is actually a sink, or a dog-washing station, or an indoor water trough for housebroken horses – all preferable alternatives IMHO. (crappy Chinese toilet image via KungFu Magazine        

The Turdis

What's six letters long and starts with a T? Why this tacky Tardis-blue toilet in Chengdu, China of course! Sadly, it's NOT way bigger on the inside and according to Jane of GoChengdoo, “When the weather's this hot, the stench is indescribable.”

That's OUTSIDE this satanic septic steam cabinet, by the way. Imagine the olfactory horror show lurking within. (crappy Chinese toilet image via GoChengdoo)  

Torque A Moonfish By The Sea

No pipes, no tank, no flushing, no problem! Indeed, this trio of rest-rafts gives the phrase “dropping off the kids at the pool” a disturbingly literal meaning but hey – when you gotta go, you gotta go and no matter if it's in full view of passing oil tankers, aircraft carriers and cargo container ships.  

At least the more luxurious tiled platform offers a bare modicum of privacy though those tiles have gotta be WAY slippery what with the waves and salt spray. Shi- umm, Ship Ahoy! (crappy Chinese toilet image via RocketNews24)



You've Been Warned...

In what appears to be a national effort to make the best of a bad(smelling) situation, Chinese authorities have begun posting a frightening series of warning stickers on the exterior walls of public restrooms. Since the graphics might be misconstrued – especially by foreign tourists unaccustomed to such things – some  English text has been added to each image. Let's zoom in a little a closer...

Yep, that was helpful indeed. Now which way to the airport, I am OUTTA here!! (crappy Chinese toilet images via Spaghettiodreams)