What Time Is It? I'm Not Sure, But These Watches Are Cool!

It used to be that a watch was worn to simply keep track of time.  Eventually style caught up with function and watches became fashion accessories.  Now, with the advent of the cell phone, watches aren't in such demand.

As a result, they have jumped the fence all the way into "style country."  And while this is an interesting thing to see, it has made many watches next to impossible to use as timepieces.

Crazy Watch # 1: The Iron Samurai

What time is it?  Well, according to the picture it is 6:48.  I can sort'a see it...  I'm not sure.

I gotta admit, the Iron Samurai is damn cool looking.  But it is also apparently the KING of watches.  Check out a bit of ad copy from Chinavision:

"[sic] when you start wearing this watch you may find yourself spending all your time challenging strangers to duels. You will probably live by the Bushido code of Rectitude, Courage, Benevolence, Respect, Honesty, Honour, and Loyalty. You'll start reading kanji and reciting Haiku by Basho such as "even a horse / arrests my eyes-on this / snowy morrow." Yes, The Iron Samurai has been known to increase its wearers' strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma by as much as 20 points each! Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal are said to be Iron Samurai owners, as is David Bowie and Brian Eno. In reality, this watch is perfect for Presidential dinner crashers [and so on]."

Holy crap!  This must be one hell of a watch!!!!  I'm surprised it doesn't shoot lasers, seduce women, allow the wearer to fly, and genetically fuse with the wearer so that they can shoot diamonds out of their ass.

Crazy Watch # 2: TokyoFlash Fire

Um... what?  How the hell does this work?  While very Christmas-tree-ish, I can't tell what time it is.

Apparently, when you touch the left button, the watch face lights up.  Each hole has two LEDs and represents one unit of time.  The Yellow LEDs are the hours, Red LEDs minutes (in groups of 10), and the Greens are single minutes (1 through 9).

I'm still not sure how to tell the time on this thing, as the .pdf instructions downloaded in microscopic form without allowing any magnification.

Crazy Watch # 3: The Warp Core

Okay... this one's a little easier to read... and really snappy lookin' (I'm dating myself, I know.  Well, not like I'm taking myself out to dinner, but showing my age.  And yes, all of you people who hate me... feel free to insert "Duh" here).

This watch can be found at Chinavision, the same group that offers the "Iron Samurai."  And with that comes the crazy ad copy:

"[sic] when you start wearing this watch you may find yourself able to see the entire electromagnetic spectrum and think with extreme logic. Of course you needn't be a Klingon or a Dementor to wear this watch. In reality, this watch is perfect for magically-inclined Muggles, weather controlling orphan thieves, Narnians, fans of Maurice Sendak's ‘Where The Wild Things Are,' or anybody who is a somebody."

WTF!?!?  Um... what?!

All I can say is that it's a nice looking watch that isn't overly difficult to figure out when it comes to time.  The first two columns display the hours, while the second two are minutes.

Crazy Watch # 4: TokyoFlash Tibida

 Time, Binary, and Date = "Ti-bi-da."  While nearly impossible to read without practice, at least this watch sort of makes sense by offering three different ways to tell time.

The Hour-centric mode uses the lower display to show hours and the lower display to show minutes.

Exact minutes can be seen on the lower display in the Minute-centric mode.

Then there's the binary mode.  Using only the upper display, six LEDs indicate the hour, while other indicate minutes.

Life is easier just looking up at the wall and noting where the hands are.


Crazy Watch # 5: TokyoFlash Hanko

This thing, while quite stylish, reminds me of the countdown timer of a nuclear weapon in a James Bond movie.

Touching the upper button activates the LEDs in a clockwise direction, with hours in the center circle, and groups of five minutes in the outer circle.

Okay, at least here we're provided with a diagram of how to tell what time it is:

Well, that's more like it!

Oddly enough, I'm quite partial to the Iron Samurai.  I like the delivery of the time-even if I can't tell what time it is.

Or maybe it's because I have a yearning to duel everyone I meet and upgrade my strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma before I enter another RPG scenario...

You can find similar unique watches, and many others, at Amazon as well as  Chinavision and TokyoFlash!

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