Y'all Roll Back Now! The Top Ten Cars Of The People Of Wal-Mart
Ever wonder how the People of Wal-Mart got to Wal-Mart in the first place? Wonder no longer as we present the Top Ten Cars of the People of Wal-Mart!
10) Brace Yourself
Don't be fooled by the handicapped tag hanging from this badass Buick's rear view mirror, this Wal-Mart shopper is all bite and no bark... at least, his ride is. Wonder if the ash on the jumbo ciggy lights up at night – if it doesn't, it should!
9) Spoiled Rotten
There's nothing like a rear deck spoiler to make your early-eighties Chevy Celebrity look cool and... wait, that should be “There's nothing that can make your early-eighties Chevy Celebrity look cool.” Don't blame the driver, though, he's already made his appointment at the Wal-Mart Vision Center.
8) Mongo Only Pontiac In Game Of Twister
“Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, Toto! It's a twister! It's a twister!” It's also a handy window repair kit if you're in a pinch or if the bleepin' GM electrics have shorted out again.
7) Big Kids DO Cry
Isn't it great to live in a nation where free expression is everyone's right? This driver's right is everyone's wrong, however, unless he's just popping into Wal-Mart to stock up on adult diapers. What a country!
6) Jurassic Parking
What can we say about this Volvo, except that it's DINO-mite! Either this car-owner can't afford to refinish his or her rusty trunk or they're really creative and own plenty of toy dinosaurs. Why not both?
5) Late Model
While getting your aspiring model GF's face and figure tattooed on your person is never a good idea, getting said images painted on your personal mode of transportation is... totally awesome! As for the trunk, well, let's not go there.
So you've maxed out your credit cards AND your minivan; what's left? Maximum shopping at Wal-Mart of course! Maximum irritation for other shoppers as well, though in his defense this driver takes up two parking places by necessity.
3) Seems Legit
George Costanza should've thought of this when he parked his father's car in a handicapped spot. Was that wrong? Should he not have done that?
2) Bachelor Pads
What is this, redneck window tinting without the neck? Has it got a padded dash too? On the bright side, this driver only goes shopping once a month and on rainy days, well, “retaining water” takes on an entirely new meaning.
Wow, Mark Zuckerberg shops at Wal-Mart! You gotta like that, or even love it. As for a status update... low and getting lower.
Thanks and a tip of the cap as well to People of Walmart, the hard-working source of these all-too-real images you only WISH were 'shopped!
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