"Sleepless in toothpaste land?" may sound like a weird title for a
column about a toothpaste. But Pearly Dreams is a weird toothpaste.
It's supposed to make you... sleep. There are all kinds of solutions
for sleeplessness... tapes, meditation,
sleeping pills, sex, supplements, sleep masks, nose clips, drinking
till you pass out.... why not one more?
Seriously or not, Dr Z (aka Dr. Arthur Zuckerman) has created the world's first sleep aid that's meant to be used on your teeth. He's got all the dental credentials a dentist could hope for, but where in the heck did this idea come from? Pearly Dreams? Come on!
So it's got a corny name; according to all the users and medical professional testimonials on the Pearly Dreams website, it works great. (Just brush fast, so you don't fall over and hit your head on the sink as you sink into your Pearly Dreams.)
The main ingredients are melatonin and organic extracts of valerian, balm mint, and passionflower, all natural herbs, and they are packed into a wintergreen-flavored toothpaste that does not contain fluoride, but does make you sleep.
Of course, you have to try this product if you are part of the 44 percent of adults that can't sleep for one reason or another. What's 20 bucks? (Actually, not much for a 60-day supply!)
But do yourself a favor. Buy a tube of Colgate or Crest for daytime brushing, and don't confuse it with Pearly Dreams, whatever you do. Because if Pearly Dreams really makes you sleep "fast," you're going to have a hell of a day if you use it in the morning. (See warning!)
"Not intended for use by pregnant or lactating women,
individuals with autoimmune conditions, depressive disorders, endocrine
disorders, serious illness, or other drug use. Seek advice from your
health practitioner prior to use if under medical supervision, taking
tranquilizers or sedatives or taking more than 10 mg of melatonin per
day. Do not use before or while operating a motor vehicle or heavy
machinery. Not to be taken by individuals under the age of 18."
Pearly Dreams via Nerd Approved
Keeping you posted...