5. Chocolate Poop in a Diaper
If you life was ever bearable, it was probably when you did not have a wife, a mortgage and some crazy kids you don't really know screaming "Dad, dad, dad" every minute of the day. Since your life basically sucks, and you can't believe you spent hours of your life wiping poop off some kid's ass, why not celebrate the end of diaper duty with some chocolate chewy goodness.
The merchant for this poop says: "After the new arrival or as a precious shower gift, each PINK, BLUE or BABY SHOWER YELLOW ribbon states (undeniably): "THIS is as sweet as it'll EVER get!" And inside, every diaper cradles an adorable surprise...a luscious chocolate TURDLE! Sorry, nasty odors not included." (Update: Poop item no longer available. try this poop instead.)
6. Poop Hat
If you feel like you are in over your head with poop, no better way to show it than by wearing it.
The merchant for this poop can no longer be found so I will quote the article I found it on: "If you'd like to be forever called "shithead," here's a surefire way to get that started. The elastic strap keeps it in place, and it's yours for $22." (poop)
7. Poop Ashtray
If you smoke, all you are doing is putting crap in your system, so why not make that obvious by placing your cigarettes in poop?
The merchant for this is Japanese and I can't read it so I will quote the article I found it at: "If you want to smoke in my house, you better ash in this. And then at some point over the evening I'll make Ruby poop and replace the poop-looking ashtray with real poop, and then you'll wish you'd never smoked in my house." (Update: Poop item no longer available. try this poop instead.)
8. Dogwalking Barbie and Her Pooping Dog Tanner
Since life is full of crap, it's probably a good idea to teach your kids them that as early as you can. Now, you can get your daughters used to cleaning up crap with the ever popular Barbie doll.
Merchant for this poop says: "Barbie's dog eats and makes a mess. Tanner, Barbie's dog, eats and ejects waste from her body! (Yes, really.) But Barbie can pick it up with her special magnetic scooper, and Tanner will eat it again-- just like your real dog! This fun set includes 11 1/2-inch pose-able Barbie, Tanner the dog, and various accessories. Tanner is soft and fuzzy and her mouth, ears, head, and tail really move! You can also open Tanner's mouth and "feed" her dog biscuits. When Tanner has to go to the bathroom, Barbie cleans up with her pooper scooper and trash can. Gobble up this one while you can!" (poop here)
9. Lucky Golden Poop Charm
If I could crap actually gold poop, I'd be a truly happy man and I'd be proud to carry some of it around. But otherwise, who wants to carry around poop?
Merchant for this poop says" " Your Lucky Sh!t Awaits - For those of you who don't know, the kanji for "lucky" in Japan is very similar to the shortened form of the Japanese word for "poo." Hence the brilliant Japanese played with the pun and the Lucky Golden Poo was um..born. But, contrary to popular belief, golden poo is lucky in more places than just Japan. It is also lucky in Ireland. Extensive research on the internet has shown without a doubt that the famed Pot o' Gold that Leprechauns protect is actually a Chamber Pot o' Gold (i.e. lucky golden leprechaun poo). .. Anywho, we're now offering Lucky Golden Poos because we know how much everyone can use a little more luck in their lives....Each Lucky Golden Poo is about .5" in diameter and is covered with a golden metallic substance (except for some of the bottom, where the Poo meets the conveyor belt). (Update: This poop no longer available, but try this poop charm.)