Best Poopy Stuff of All Time
Well, I was having a crappy day and it got me thinking that the world is full of crap ....literally. So I went on my merry way to prove my hypothesis true...and I have.
Here are my best finds for all the things inspired by the poop in people's lives:
1. I Love You Shaped Fake Dog Poop
I guess nothing says I love you better than saying it with poop?
The merchant for this says for this poop product " Love is a wonderful thing. And what could say "I LOVE YOU" more than Fake Dog Poop Shaped like a lovely message "I LOVE YOU", "I (heart) YOU" ? The Letters & Heart are about 4-5 inches tall. Each piece is a little different because they are all hand-made (yuk).(poop)
2. Doodie Notes Holder
When you need to fill your life with reminders of all the crap you have to do, might as well keep all your notes well organized all on one eye-cathing note holder.
The merchant for this poop says: "We all love doodie jokes! This doodie note hanger has 4 metal clips that will hold all the important documents in front of your desk! (Suction cups)" (Update: Poop item no longer available. try this poop instead.)
Since your days are all filled with crap, why not remind yourself of that constantly with a poop calendar.
The merchant for this poop says: "So you think you've seen every calendar known to man. Angels, babies, bunnies, cars, and puppies. One word comes to mind, BORING! PrankPlace proudly introduces a calendar so funny, and so wrong, that it is just right! A calendar that chronicles a fact of life that's touched us all. Each month features a beautiful image, but in every picture is a nice picturesque pile of dog poop. Professionally photographed, these pictures are almost breath taking, and yet totally disgusting at the same time." (Buy poop here.)
4. Wet Sticky Poop Water Ball
Since it feels like the world is throwing you crap, it'd be fun to actually throw some poop around, wouldn't it?
Merchant for this poop says:
"1) Throw it on slippery surface (wall, desk, glass), and see how it sticks, and watch them splat and return to original shape suddenly and roll down the wall...
3) Also called venting balls
4) Suitable as stress relief squeeze ball both for adults or children...
6) It also can put jelly or water inside"(Update: Poop item no longer available. try this poop instead.)
5. Chocolate Poop in a Diaper
If you life was ever bearable, it was probably when you did not have a wife, a mortgage and some crazy kids you don't really know screaming "Dad, dad, dad" every minute of the day. Since your life basically sucks, and you can't believe you spent hours of your life wiping poop off some kid's ass, why not celebrate the end of diaper duty with some chocolate chewy goodness.
The merchant for this poop says: "After the new arrival or as a precious shower gift, each PINK, BLUE or BABY SHOWER YELLOW ribbon states (undeniably): "THIS is as sweet as it'll EVER get!" And inside, every diaper cradles an adorable surprise...a luscious chocolate TURDLE! Sorry, nasty odors not included." (Update: Poop item no longer available. try this poop instead.)
6. Poop Hat
If you feel like you are in over your head with poop, no better way to show it than by wearing it.
The merchant for this poop can no longer be found so I will quote the article I found it on: "If you'd like to be forever called "shithead," here's a surefire way to get that started. The elastic strap keeps it in place, and it's yours for $22." (poop)
7. Poop Ashtray
If you smoke, all you are doing is putting crap in your system, so why not make that obvious by placing your cigarettes in poop?
The merchant for this is Japanese and I can't read it so I will quote the article I found it at: "If you want to smoke in my house, you better ash in this. And then at some point over the evening I'll make Ruby poop and replace the poop-looking ashtray with real poop, and then you'll wish you'd never smoked in my house." (Update: Poop item no longer available. try this poop instead.)
8. Dogwalking Barbie and Her Pooping Dog Tanner
Since life is full of crap, it's probably a good idea to teach your kids them that as early as you can. Now, you can get your daughters used to cleaning up crap with the ever popular Barbie doll.
Merchant for this poop says: "Barbie's dog eats and makes a mess. Tanner, Barbie's dog, eats and ejects waste from her body! (Yes, really.) But Barbie can pick it up with her special magnetic scooper, and Tanner will eat it again-- just like your real dog! This fun set includes 11 1/2-inch pose-able Barbie, Tanner the dog, and various accessories. Tanner is soft and fuzzy and her mouth, ears, head, and tail really move! You can also open Tanner's mouth and "feed" her dog biscuits. When Tanner has to go to the bathroom, Barbie cleans up with her pooper scooper and trash can. Gobble up this one while you can!" (poop here)
9. Lucky Golden Poop Charm
If I could crap actually gold poop, I'd be a truly happy man and I'd be proud to carry some of it around. But otherwise, who wants to carry around poop?
Merchant for this poop says" " Your Lucky Sh!t Awaits - For those of you who don't know, the kanji for "lucky" in Japan is very similar to the shortened form of the Japanese word for "poo." Hence the brilliant Japanese played with the pun and the Lucky Golden Poo was um..born. But, contrary to popular belief, golden poo is lucky in more places than just Japan. It is also lucky in Ireland. Extensive research on the internet has shown without a doubt that the famed Pot o' Gold that Leprechauns protect is actually a Chamber Pot o' Gold (i.e. lucky golden leprechaun poo). .. Anywho, we're now offering Lucky Golden Poos because we know how much everyone can use a little more luck in their lives....Each Lucky Golden Poo is about .5" in diameter and is covered with a golden metallic substance (except for some of the bottom, where the Poo meets the conveyor belt). (Update: This poop no longer available, but try this poop charm.)
10. Pee and Poop Cuddle Toys
I kinow that some days, you just have the strong desire to hug your excrement. Now, you can.
Merchant says: "The cuddly toys Pee&Poo are now available in a duo pack - together for ever. They are made in a cotton plush (80% cotton and 20% polyester) and filled with polyester fibre. Naturally, they are CE approved and are suitable for children of all ages." (buy poop here )
11. Instant Spray On Poop
If you'd rather not have to physically spray your poop around yourself and exert yourself, you can now use this convenient spray poop in a can.
Merchant for this poop says "INSTA-POOP (aka. Turd in a Can!) - Looks soft and real! Just shake the can and press down, out comes crap that looks so real it will make you want to puke." (Poop item no longer available. try this poop instead.)
12. Poop Pen
Your hands probably touch crap all day. Now, everyone can see what you have to deal with on a daily basis. Now, you really have crap on your hands.
Merchant for this poop says: "Doo Doo Doodlers (AKA: #2 pens) - Surely you have. These pens are an excellent choice when writing "Dear John" letters, working on your income taxes, and check writing. Get the relief you deserve, use these to write crappy letters to Congress, or maybe to your ex-spouse!?! " (poop)
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Well, if your life wasn't filled with enough poop, I have surely given you some good reasons to go out and get some more, no?
Which is your favorite?
Update: Since many of these poop items are no longer available, I thought I'd share with you my new favorite, the poop filled mug.
Update: If you like crap, plese enjoy my best article yet - 12 Most Awesome Gifts for the Sex Obsessed Man