Brain Reps 1: How to Invent Excuses for Inventing

Peter Mucha, our Guest Blogger, is an online editor and writer for the Philadelphia Inquirer, who shares more of his zany ideas on . He thought the readers of may enjoy discussing the process of inventing. Here's his article:

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Ouch. Brain cramps, again?! Yeeow. That's what I get. For not stretching my mind first. For jumping right into a drill, still on a full stomach.

Today's obstacle course: The most useful invention of all.


As in: What to tell the significant other when you're too embarrassed to say, "I'm trying to make a Miracle Bra out of Miracle Whip!"

So let's brainstorm. Do some brain reps.

Category 1: Deny, deny, deny.

"You don't want to know, honey. But as soon as I corner, I'll kill it."
"I found a treasure map a previous owner left! That noise is just me drilling for dubloons!"
"I'm hiding from a swarthy stranger I kind of placed large illegal wagers with."
"I'm testing all my tools, so I can give some to your Mom!"
"Don't worry. I'm not inventing! I'm just down here drinking!"


Category 2: But, honey, it's an invention you'll love!

"It's a brainwashing helmet to make men love shopping!"
"With my Brownie Bypass Bagger, we can all eat buckets of chocolate guilt-free!"
"I call it Not Now, Charlie. Looks like a lipstick tube, but deflates all e[go]s within 20 feet!"
"It's the sock that never smells!"
"I'm inventing a cure for the compulsion to invent!"

Category 3: Tell the truth. Who'd possibly believe it?

"I'm inventing a way to recycle toenail clipping into fake fingernails."
"It's ceiling paint flies can't walk on!"
"My Titanium Tooth Spackle renders flossing obsolete!"
"The Robot Squeegee Squid! Never wash a window again!"
"Post-It Lunch Meat! And Post-It Cheese! Vertical sandwiches!!!"

Anyway, that's my gig. Brain Reps ... in hopes of inspiring others to get those ideas flowing.

Share your ideas in a comment, if you're willing ...

So, what's your excuse?

Peter Mucha
Guest Blogger

Jun 30, 2007
by Anonymous Norm Slayer (not verified)

Category 4: It's An Innovative Chomode

The norm seems to be finding an alternative to the existing chomodes and Port-A-Potties. 

Jun 30, 2007
by Michelle
Michelle's picture

Why do you think people are

Why do you think people are so fascianated by the potty?

Jul 1, 2007
by Gloria Campos
Gloria Campos's picture


"I'm inventing a way to recycle toenail clipping into fake fingernails". That's just nasty and yet so funny.


Gloria Campos-Hensley