Condoms: By Any Other Name
The eight-year term of President Bill Clinton was a period of relative peace and prosperity. Unfortunately, his term of office is likely to be remembered by history for events of a far different nature.
Unrolled CondomIn 2005, the Guangzhou Haokian Bio-science company of China introduced a line of condoms named for our 43rd president (with the Chinese spelling of Kelitun). A 12-pack of Clintons sold for $5.00. Too much? How about $3.00 for a dozen of the company's Laiwensiji (for Monica Lewinsky) brand condoms?
Over the years, condoms have been known by a host of different names. Some of them are inventively descriptive, while others sound strangely cryptic to the ears of modern readers. The following is just a sample, and is assumed by this writer to be far from complete:
Bob - (why Bob?)
Sex Shark Warmer
The Tour Guide
And we have history's favorite rake, Giacomo Girolamo Casanova, to thank for "English Riding Coat."
Condom users in other lands have their own names:
Denmark - Gummimand, for "Rubberman,"
Hungary - Ovsver, for "Safety Tool,"
Hong King - Pei Dang Vi, for "Bulletproof Vest,"
Portugal - Camisa De Venus, for "Venus Shirt,"
Nigeria - Okpuamu, for "Penis Hat,"
Indonesia - Koteca, for "Penis Gourd," and
Spain - globo, for "Balloon."
In England, French Letters will protect you against the French Disease, while a French man might choose to protect himself from La Maladie Anglaise (the English disease), or (the Italian or Neopolitan disease). A Francophobic German might choose to wear a Pariser (Parisian).
Many Arabs attribute the scourge of syphilis to the English (the English disease), while the Russians blame the Poles (the Polish disease).
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