Patent

Have you always wanted pouty lips? Do you secretly feel that sullen is always the way to go? Well, then, consider yourself as having arrived at your destination (wherever that is) with Patent# US 6830590, which is also known in the non plastic-surgical world as a Lip Enhancer. Read on for more vainglorious details.

Patent# US 6858243, also known as the Pizza Preparation and Delivery Method and Unit, involves a method for providing a consumer with a freshly-baked, pizza-type food product by using individually frozen ingredients, combining them and then baking them in less than five minutes in a mobile, compact and autonomous baking/selling unit. Read on and then inform pizza delivery places that may have failed you in the past if they should eat their hearts (or at least their pizza) out.

Patent# US 6782554 refers to an Apparel-Related Entertainment System that indirectly addresses the issue of how many t-shirts anyone can afford. This patent provides a way to change the slogan on your t-shirt whenever you want or change it back again, if that be your fancy. Think about how much you’ll save in terms of money, hangers and closet space as you read on for more information.

Patent# US 6832983 concerns an Article of Clothing with a Novel Attachment Means and this is very true. If you have seen something like this before, let me know, as I would really like to talk to you, and if you haven’t, read on and join the club.

Patent# US 6846220, which is also known as an Abdominal Support, was originally designed for pregnant women. It could conceivably (although not politely) be used to aid the obese as well. It has its good points and differs in several ways from other abdominal supports that have appeared on the patent horizon over the years. While reading this, if you can think of a way a beer holder can be added to the mix, will you let me know?

Contact Activated Sound and Light Generating Novelty Food Containers, which are also known as Patent# US 6796671, relate to a 2004 invention for those who like a bit of juice with their sweets. Read on for the fattening and shocking truth.

Patent# US 7037541 refers to Alcoholic Beverages Derived from Animal Extract. Would you be interested in creating beef martinis and/or chicken alexanders? The idea is not new and dates at least as far back as the Middle Ages when a drink called Cock Ale, the ingredients of which included light malt, raisins and a chicken, was imbibed by many non Tudors. This invention assures that you will never look at a chicken or duck the same way again even if you do see double once in a while.

Patent #US 6797310 refers to a 2004 invention also known as Peanut Butter Batter Pancake Mix. If you are thinking this should have been covered back in the days of the great American scientist, botanist, educator and inventor, George Washington Carver whose studies and teaching revolutionized agriculture in the Southern United States, you just may have a point. Read on for more details about the Peanut Butter Batter Pancake Mix.

Patent# US 6810541 also known as the Peanut-Shaped Prayer Cushion may or may not have been divinely inspired but it is without doubt, very silly. In addition, it has also been invented before, which makes it even sillier, albeit the addition of a knee cushion makes it different than others of its ilk. Read on and pray, but for other things.

Patent# US 6895967 also known as the Condom with Inflatable Portion is a prime example of dangerous territory where fools really do rush in and smarter folks don’t dare to tread. Read on and be absolutely amazed that someone actually got a patent for this silly idea.

The Neck Wrap/Brace Organizer for Holding Items and Belt Article Holder for Same (whew!) also known as Patent# US 6929164 addresses the issue of organization with a baptism by fire type of idea. There’s no question that being organized saves time, space and aggravation in our lives, but this silly patent has gone more than one step too far. Read on and draw a line somewhere in the sand…if you can find a pencil, that is.

In keeping with those all too life-like dolls that wet and cry for mama to change them, Patent# US 6863536, also known as the Endoscopic Tutorial System with a Bleeding Complication, is like a horror movie that simulates blood and guts at the expense of the viewer. Read on, but keep your distance, as there is a new and very crazy sort-of doctor in town.

Patent#US 6880369 also known as the Combination Handcuff Key and Writing Instrument dates back to 2005 and may be just the thing for law enforcement and security personnel. To others, however, it remains a very silly patent. Read on but….watch out for those cuffs.

Patent# US D500166 also referred to as the No Smoking Sign Ashtray is, so they say, a design that only a New Yorker could have come up with. Being a former one (both smoker and New Yorker) I might opt to be insulted by that. Then again, I might just laugh and forget about it because this silly patent is really quite funny. Read on and see if you don’t agree.

Patent# US 6842218 known to some as the Scent Delivery System, is a 2005 invention that involves a flow of air via a single conduit with a nasal interface at one end and a fan or canister of compressed air at the other end. Read on for more details even though they already seem superfluous.

Patent #US 6997070 better known as Methods of Promoting Sleep Systems is one of those things whose purpose isn’t all that clear. Whether or not this is a good thing remains to be seen. Read on and if you can figure it out, please pass it on.

Patent# US D509944 represents an idea for an invention known as the Bottle Cap Necktie. If you want to buy one of these, it won’t be easy because it is not a reality and may never be. Read on anyway and be amazed at what some people can conjure even without a single drink.

Patent #US 6802818 refers to a Multi-Functional Massage Device that services the multi-tasking but very confused and dysfunctional busy person of today. It proves, without a doubt, that old admonition about not chewing on your pen because of the unknown places it has been before (even though it’s likely to be located somewhere on the user of this silly thing). Read on for more information, if you have the time.

Patent# US 6846967 also known as the Nuclear Waste Disposal System entered the world in 2005 and just won’t leave. Perhaps it is waiting for the all clear signal from those controlling the sub-sea volcano which the inventor so stoutly advocates as the way for all nuclear wastes to go. Read on, and…. stand back a bit from the shore.

Patent# US 6843793 known mysteriously only as a Surgical Instrument, is a highly complicated medical apparatus that entails the principle of remote plastic surgery. No, this is not done via a television remote or on an operating table in the rainforest in southwestern Borneo. It is, instead, a rather silly attempt to perform plastic surgery as a sort of game, like painting by numbers.