Patent

Patent #GB 2,328,762 represents proof positive that not all the ridiculous patents in the world come from the land of the free and the brave. If you don’t believe me, just read on and learn more about this English Condom Advent Calendar comprised of 25 condoms, each held behind a respective door, just like Monty Hall’s old television show, Let’s Make a Deal.

Patent # 5,031,161 refers to a Lifetime Expectancy Timepiece, which is designed to inform those among us who simply must know everything exactly how much time we have left to live on this planet. If this sounds god-like and presumptuous, that’s because it is, and so much…more. Read on and wish with all your heart that you were somewhere else.

It is not known if the inventor of Patent #6,681,419 was a drinker or no, but that would offer one explanation for this bizarre Forehead Support Apparatus, designed for resting a standing user’s forehead against a wall above a bathroom commode or beneath a showerhead. Read on and…be amazed.

US Patent #4344424, also known as the Anti-Eating Face Mask, surely represents a new low in the world of dieting and food-deprivation, not to mention a direct and simplistic but rather silly way to go about the house on a daily basis.

US Patent # 5,885,614 dates back to March of 2000 and hails from Chicago, the city of wind (hot and otherwise), and sometimes, silly invention ideas. Presented as an alternative to Viagra, the only stimulation required for this invention to work is your nose. I know, don’t ask, but read on and sort of be informed.

Surely inventing an apparatus that simulates the well-known “high five” deserves a place somewhere in the silly inventors Hall of Fame. When one thinks about spurts of inspiration, it’s hard to believe the result was this. In any case, read on and…sort of understand.

Patent No. 5,901,666 seeps of animal love and devotion, but is also more than a little bit silly. Read all about this novel pet cage and discover how you and your pet can be embarrassed simultaneously, whichever nightspots you may choose to hit.

If beauty fades but stupid is forever, what can anyone say about US patent # 4202456? Toy building blocks made from bottle caps might seem thrifty and practical, but how could they be so when it cost thousands of dollars to patent such an idea? A bit contradictory, no? Read on for some details and a bit more ambivalence.

Who out there does not remember those old light-bulb jokes? You, know, the ones that went, ‘how many whatevers does it take to change a light bulb?’ Answers were precursors to Polish and other bad ethnic jokes, but the patent for the light bulb changer, (#6826983 to be exact) is neither. It is, however, quite ridiculous, and as such, belongs here now. Read on and realize you simply haven’t seen it all.

Through SongVest , we can own a share of our favorite songs, making money while the song writers do. The company is able to do this through auctions, trading artists' song rights and related royalty streams.

Are you a fast eater? Are you done with what’s on your plate before anyone else even starts eating? Don’t worry; there is a simple solution for you.

If you don't want to blow out your birthday cake candles, don't fear the Birthday Cake Candle Extinguisher (Patent Number 3150831) is here. Although I don't know why you wouldn't want to blow out your candles - it's the greatest thing ever.

Disturbing yet practical, the Bird Trap and Cat Feeder makes feeding your cat simple at the expense of all the birds that like to fly around your yard.

Is there anyone left who doesn't think the only thing better than traveling by air is having his or her wisdom teeth pulled? Do any of you suspect America is in fact a class based system and not an egalitarian one? If you have any doubts at all about such things United States patent 6329919 should put your doubts to rest once and for all.

Polly want a cracker? Unfortunately, it'll make Polly poop all over your house the minute you let her out of her cage! If you love your little bird and want to let it fly free all over your house from time-to-time, then I've got a patent that should serve as a happy compromise for you both.

Have you ever seen a kid so dirty you wish you could just tie him up to a tree and spray him down? Or perhaps the kid in question is too young for such measures, so you think about grabbing the child by the shoulders (neck?) and repeatedly dipping him into a warm tub filled with soapy water. Unfortunately, the modern tub is too big to accommodate little tykes safely for either method. Thankfully, the United States Patent Office once again comes to the rescue of American families everywhere.

Mother's Day is around the corner. What better time is there to honor the women who give us life and who make up the cornerstones of psychoanalysis? That's why I'm recommending the following five patents as perfect, non-traditional gift ideas for your mom - whether you like her or not. C'mon dude, she had you!

The advancements of the last thirty years have raised the invention stakes for everyone. What's wrong with that, you ask? Nothing, except that this often results in the less creative among us churning out mediocre or bad ideas when they could be doing something much more productive, like removing shopping carts from the parking lot at a local Wal-Mart! In my opinion, the following two patented inventions illustrate this point exactly.

If you have ever wondered what you'd look like with a different makeup scheme, a radically different hairstyle or, well, say something a bit more unusual - the creators of Taaz.com can help you.