Patent

Effective Alarm Clock

I've read that some of the most successful inventions are those that respond to an everyday need. If that's the case, then Samuel S. Applegate holds the patent for what could be the most effective alarm clock ever. read more »

Musical Condom

In my previous blog, A Big, Long D*ck for Valentine's Day, I alerted you to a patent that could help you realize your manly potential. But I'm here to tell you it's not all fun and games. Today, more than ever, sexual prowess cannot occur free of responsibility. So if you love your partner, or even if you don't and you only love yourself, you owe it to yourself to practice safe sex. That's why today I am providing you with a patent that reconciles safety with fun. read more »

Read my blog to find out why Herbert Jochum is smiling.

The apparatus is not unfamiliar in that it resembles other sexual aids already on the market and available at your local sex shop. Not sure where the nearest sex shop to your home is located? Just look for where 20-somethings hang out after 1 a.m. on Saturday night, or wait until Sunday morning and look for a group of your neighbors picketing an otherwise unremarkable storefront. read more »

Instant Face Lift

Although plastic surgery is America's favorite branch of medicine, many of us are still wary of going under the knife for purely vain reasons. As a result, we tend to turn to less trustworthy methods of maintaining our good looks, such as unregulated herbal supplements. That's why the next three patents are of such interest. All promise to deliver some of the benefits of cosmetic surgery without the dangers often associated with surgery. Of course, it's anybody's guess as to whether or not the results are noteworthy, but hey, it's worth a shot. read more »

Mechanical Shower

As many of you already know, conservationists espouse the use of car washes because the facilities recycle the water used to get your vehicle looking its squeaky-clean best. Sounds like a good idea, right? But why should such a practical idea, like recycling water, be limited to cars? After all, we don't generally wash our cars everyday. We do, however, bathe our bods (I hope) everyday. Presumably then, washing ourselves is far more wasteful of a precious natural resource - one that some people argue will be the world's next "oil" - than the occasional washing of our cars. read more »

Strap-on Pacifier

Technology has transformed the baby raising landscape in some ingenious ways. Who knows? If the following three inventions had been available a few years ago my home office might today be covered in Disney motif wallpaper, and all the electrical outlets plugged up with child safety protectors. read more »

Full-color pocket-sized printers are now becoming a reality. The reason for this new innovation is that these printers don't use ink or laser technology like most other printers. Instead of ink, these printers use thermal heat to create millions of different colors on a special kind of paper called Zink paper (Zink stands for "zero ink") - these printers are surprisingly inexpensive as well. See the video... read more »

Feces Scale

I have a friend who tries to calm my food fears by reassuring me that something that doesn't weigh a pound cannot make me gain a pound. Fine! But what about the bag of chocolate covered nuts (they're filled with protein) I ate this morning? The one I forgot to weigh on my food scale? How much of that have I got sitting inside of me, threatening the needle of my bathroom scale? read more »

Remember the Super Soaker water gun (a.k.a Power Drencher)? It was the world's first high-performance, pressurized water gun invented by nuclear engineer Lonnie Johnson.

Mr. Johnson who once worked with the U.S Air Force and NASA has more than 100 patents to his name. His most recent invention today could drastically reduce the cost of solar energy as well as conserve heat, if it works. read more »

A Dutch Company by the name of Polymer Vision is set to release the world's first cell phone that features a fold-out display for viewing email, podcasts, text documents, news, and blogs. This device, called the "Readius", is the size of a typical cell phone and has a large 5-inch screen that folds out from the body of the phone. read more »

For those people who have been unlucky enough to experience the high costs of a DUI or DWI conviction, you know the extremely high costs associated with drunk driving which include DUI defense attorney fees, court costs, cost of treatment classes, higher auto insurance, not to mention injury or death in some cases. There are some simple, inexpensive gadgets out there that can help to prevent you from getting behind the wheel when you've had a few too many. read more »

Doggie Dust Cover

Is Fido's fur causing you to fret and frown over your furniture's future? Does the care and maintenance of your pooch's pelt leave you pooped and peeved? Well, I've discovered two patents that address some of the hygiene problems facing dog owners - dog hair, dander and fleas - in unusual ways. read more »

Snot Sucking Gun

Nowadays, the word "automatic" appears in front of almost everything we touch. Today a brief stroll around the aisles of most stores reveals a culture that can no longer, is no longer, interested in doing things the old-fashioned way: manually. Disagree? Then take a look at United States patent 6471679 . read more »

Kick Your Own Butt Device

"I Could Just Kick Myself." Well, now you can!

Did your parents ever tell you all you needed was a swift kick in the butt? If you were in grade school around the time I was - back when no one much cared about your self-esteem or your feelings - you might have heard a teacher say these very same words to/at you. Perhaps when you've screwed up, yet again, you've even uttered these words to yourself under your breath. The obvious problem in this last scenario is that people just aren't built to accomplish such a feat. read more »

Temporary/Portable Nuclear Fallout Shelter

If you've listened to the news lately it might seem as though we are on the brink of another arms race. Oh sure, we've made some progress with North Korea, for now, but what about the rest of the world? If worrying about escalating international tensions is keeping you from making good on your new year's resolution to embark on a diet and fitness program that will help you transform yourself, I've got a patent that could put some of your fears to rest - temporarily - just long enough so that you can get up off the couch and into the gym.

read more »

Cyborg Hand Massage

Have you ever longed for a gentle reassuring touch throughout the day? Would you welcome an occasional touch, rub, or connection to another without all the messy human entanglements that often accompany such a sweet gesture? read more »

Personal Doomsday Watch

We know many of the vices we enjoy actually accelerate our journey towards oblivion. Furthermore, not knowing exactly how fast we're going is the cause of some considerable anxiety. And anxiety, as you know, makes the time it takes to reach our final destination go even faster! Still not ready to toss out your cigarettes or stop yelling at your spouse? read more »

smoker smile

Thanks to Henry Petroski's book, "The Toothpick: Technology and Culture," I've learned that the toothpick has both an illustrious history and some interesting applications. But I wonder what Petroski would say about a group of patents I've termed, "addiction hygiene?"
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Patent Improves with Prizes!

For years I've been haunted by a musical potty and its innocent reward system. Why is it that adults don't have anything besides toilet paper to remind us how grand it is to take part in adult civilized society? Well, we do now. read more »

Toilet Forehead Support

Many of us, no doubt, have found ourselves kneeling down before the porcelain god reflecting on the events that brought us there. read more »