10 Types of Women You Need to Avoid

The "lesson" for the single men should be that relationships based solely on romantic love are not likely to last--friendship and common interests are more important.

While some women can be hard to read, all of these women must be carefully examined in order to ascertain what they have to offer. By glancing but not scrutinizing, here's what you missed. (Understandably, as you are a married man who may sneak a peek but never really see another woman).

( l) The Woman Who Is Obsessed With Getting Married
--Pure BLISS. Everyday of your life will be like your wedding day and everynight will be like your honeymoon.
--Her gown makes the naughty knot look like a whimple

( 2) The Woman Who Is Always Looking For A Fight
--A wholesome woman with a big heart that has only been broken twice
--Based on her stance and props, she loves square dancing and cooking and is always ready to butter you up
--If necessary, she will meet your needs before her own

( 3) The Woman Who Needs To Be Handled With Kids Gloves
--Preserved in plastic: A sign of innocence and purity, free of STDs
--A VIRGIN who is waiting for the right man to pop her bubble

( 4) The Woman Who Really Needs To Cover Up
--She does look a little fishy, but she is big, dominant, her cups runneth over, and she has a big blow-hole: A wonderful mate for a Moby Dick
--She is a Dominatrix who loves to role play
--With hands in back of her, she is revealing that she is ready for handcuffs or anything else
--Fish net stockings indicate she knows how to take care of her foreskin

( 5) The Woman Who Is A Constant Drag
--Anytime, anywhere, she is clearly a boner
--She's a little anorexic, but her loss is your gain

( 6) The Woman Who Can't Shut Up
--Did you see her tattoo? She's Ivy League, man
--Smart and perceptive, she doesn't need to have her glasses on to know when you're coming
--The camouflage shirt makes her look like GI Jane, but it means she has many hidden talents and wants to challenge her man. She is just daring you to try to find her G-Spot

( 7) The Woman Who Takes And Takes And Takes
--The sleeveless gown makes her look cold-shouldered, but she is only playing hard to get
--The sign on her shirt may be misconstrued for a dollar sign, but it is an "S" with a single line through it: Symbolic of "NO Suckers" and "NO SOBs" need apply
--The large "Greed" on her is indicative of her ability to satisfy even the hungriest man
--Overall, an attractive woman who knows what she wants and what you need

( 7)(A) ...Suck You And Your Wallet Dry
--Looks like she has a stick up her a--, but with 6 highly flexible arms, who cares?
--She can handle any situation with ease and is always ready to lend a hand
--You'll have to go out on a limb to fully appreciate her capabilities...but you won't be disappointed

( 8) The Woman Who Has Nothing To Say
--You call that a woman?
--She might be able to bring out the animal in you, but you'll never be able to see eye-to-eye with her
--Of the 10 women portrayed here, she is the biggest risk: She's full of stuffing and may be suffocating
--However, like the Therapy Buddy, you'll get a good night's sleep with her snuggled next to you

( 9) The Woman Who Is One Big Freak Show
--I guess it is difficult to recognize poor Dolly, the first cloned woman who had some medical problems. When her friends found out that she needed a body part transplant, they didn't hesitate to donate some of theirs. Initially, the transplant didn't appear to be successful, so her doctor gave her some ana-body-cal steroids and she is now thriving. Currently, Dolly is well a-head of expected progress. However, there isn't much legroom in the event that an infection should occur.
--Medical problems aside, Dolly is one super woman and has a great sense of humor--she is always cloning around

(10) The Woman Who Is All Out Evil
--Well, that depends on your tastes
--Black (gown) and Blue (hair), she is into S & M. She's not evil, just "different"
--The right macho man can get the kinks out of her and enjoy a wonderful, pain-free marriage

Needless to say, never judge a book by its cover; beauty is only skin deep.......

what's with the math question?

anyways, i myself am i woman, and i found your article to be quite hilarious. i know many of those types of women myself, and the dolls you have chosen represent them well. ha.

Doesn't the guy basically admit that he's full of s***. I am also a woman and I think his article is hysterical. I cannot wait to see what he has for the guys.

Well, I just heard that Christie Brinkley--beautiful supermodel--had her FOURTH divorce. When she was getting married, she didn't think it was going to end in divorce....ha!

Where did the beauty really get her and her four marriages? You may be able to fall in love with those looks, but the relationship won't necessarily last. It seems like there are a lot of guys (and gals) picking partners for the WRONG reasons.

What misogynistic, repulsive, untrue crap. You think women need to 'shut up,' 'cover up' and conform to your standards? Oh, and they have to be entertaining, not 'a drag,' they can't take too much from you, no, and heaven forbid you'd have to treat them well. God, grow up.

Anyone who takes this too seriously obviously has some issues of their own. I am a woman as well and found this absolutely hilarious. But, at the same time, can't we all admit that we have met women like this at sometime in our lives? Can we not also admit that we have at least 1 minor character flaw that reminds us of at least ONE of these types of women? The point is, there are "persons" out there that have more than a little bit of these flaws in their character. They are flat out freak shows that take it to the extreme and are definitely to be avoided. Get a life and quit taking yourself so seriously. Good grief, if you can't laugh how do you get any joy out of life?

Lol,too funny.

Now for a real challenge, guess which doll type each responder fits? ;0)

You are going to hurt her.....I mean his...feelings.

I'm a woman and I'm not the least bit insulted by this. It's hilarious! I think that any woman offended by this is probably one of the types mentioned.

Just because Misogynistic voiced her opinion by objecting to the wording in the article does NOT mean that she is a dyke.

It just isn't fair to start calling her a dyke when he-she may be a call girl, transvestite, transsexual, or gender-identity disorder.

You know, if you tried to be a little more considerate, she just might give you her 900 number. Even if you didn't scrutinize her before, it might not be too late to screwtinize her now. Show some respect and consideration!

Goes to show you, BOTH women and men can both be frighteningly stupid. Women for their personality quirks and mannerisms, and men for their determination to have sex with such sideways freaks of nature.

My. I wonder what makes all the women who commented so angry. Maybe they recognized themselves.

Women must not allow anything criticizing to be said about them, even if it's just a joke.

As if you haven't seen hundreds of (much more meanspirited) articles making fun of guys, and didn't have a chuckle. Oh my god, you bunch of hypocrites.

Dude, if those are the kinds of women to avoid then WHAT'S LEFT?

They ALL fit one or more of those categories.

Hi Not Funny:

We tried your link and it did not work.

Thanks,

Michelle

Nice article! I liked it - I recognised many a past female friend among your list. I don't know which one I am though - deffo not the marriage obsessed one. may a bit of all. Variety is the spice of life.

You should do a cat personality one as well - eg: ginger cats are not faithful, b&w ones are oveer-friendly etc etc

Make up your mind, asshole. Either you want a woman who won't shut up or one who never speaks. You're a dickhead. I hope your wang falls off.

An amusing article. Good to see PC is out the window, its a disease and should be banished.
The article is obviously intended for humour and if some people take offense then tough. Deal with it idiots.

I am a female, and I have to say it's...Not sexist.

There are women like that and you need to avoid them LIKE THE PLAGUE. There are, however, women out there that are good people.

That's why it's not just "lol all women k"

Chill out with your feminist bullshyte. Noone appreciates it, and it makes me embarrassed to be a woman.

This was great! Made me laugh out loud. I'm a woman and am not at all offended by this. I've met at least 1 woman who fit eat category, and I avoid them too.
By the way...I loved your post Don Juan ;)

Glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks the obsessed marriage doll looks like the Corpse Bride... Anyway, very nice, bravo. :)

As is with the list about men, there isn't a woman alive who doesn't fit into several catagories here.
Aside from being grossly sexist, its not intelligent or thought out at all. Pulled this out of your a** did you?

...funny as shit! I'm off to see what he's got lined up for the guys!

Another job well done Amused. I always appreciate your sense of humor. For all those woman who laughed at this article - more power to you. I think a woman with a sense of humor is woman that you don't want to avoid. HotSpotMama www.AmericanInventorSpot.com

HILARIOUS! Thanks for the laugh! For all the tight asses, LIGHTEN UP! It's funny! For whomever it may concern...I'm a woman.

There are probably more types out there... I dated the evil one for a while... too long. Thank God my wife is not too much like any of these. Good work, keep it up :D