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Funny Patents

This "Funny Patents" section of our site features the most  crazy,  funny, clever, unique, outrageous, strange, odd, bizarre, ingenious, and wacky patents ever filed.

Please take a look at what we  have found to be some of the best in funny and wacky inventions, including these  favorites:

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Great Invention Idea? A Musical Condom


Musical CondomMusical Condom

In my previous blog, A Big, Long D*ck for Valentine's Day, I alerted you to a patent that could help you realize your manly potential. But I'm here to tell you it's not all fun and games. Today, more than ever, sexual prowess cannot occur free of responsibility. So if you love your partner, or even if you don't and you only love yourself, you owe it to yourself to practice safe sex. That's why today I am providing you with a patent that reconciles safety with fun. read more »

Great Invention Idea? 3 Unusual Ways to Look Your Best


Instant Face LiftInstant Face Lift


Although plastic surgery is America's favorite branch of medicine, many of us are still wary of going under the knife for purely vain reasons. As a result, we tend to turn to less trustworthy methods of maintaining our good looks, such as unregulated herbal supplements. That's why the next three patents are of such interest. All promise to deliver some of the benefits of cosmetic surgery without the dangers often associated with surgery. Of course, it's anybody's guess as to whether or not the results are noteworthy, but hey, it's worth a shot. read more »

Great Invention Idea? The Modern Bathhouse!


Mechanical ShowerMechanical Shower

As many of you already know, conservationists espouse the use of car washes because the facilities recycle the water used to get your vehicle looking its squeaky-clean best. Sounds like a good idea, right? But why should such a practical idea, like recycling water, be limited to cars? After all, we don't generally wash our cars everyday. We do, however, bathe our bods (I hope) everyday. Presumably then, washing ourselves is far more wasteful of a precious natural resource - one that some people argue will be the world's next "oil" - than the occasional washing of our cars. read more »

Great Invention Idea? 3 Devices to Make Parenting Easier!


Strap-on PacifierStrap-on Pacifier

Technology has transformed the baby raising landscape in some ingenious ways. Who knows? If the following three inventions had been available a few years ago my home office might today be covered in Disney motif wallpaper, and all the electrical outlets plugged up with child safety protectors. read more »

Great Invention Idea? Doggie Dust Cover and Vacuum!


Doggie Dust CoverDoggie Dust Cover

Is Fido's fur causing you to fret and frown over your furniture's future? Does the care and maintenance of your pooch's pelt leave you pooped and peeved? Well, I've discovered two patents that address some of the hygiene problems facing dog owners - dog hair, dander and fleas - in unusual ways. read more »

Great Invention Idea? A Snot Sucking Gun!


Snot Sucking GunSnot Sucking Gun

Nowadays, the word "automatic" appears in front of almost everything we touch. Today a brief stroll around the aisles of most stores reveals a culture that can no longer, is no longer, interested in doing things the old-fashioned way: manually. Disagree? Then take a look at United States patent 6471679 . read more »

Great Invention Idea? Kick Your Own Butt Device


Kick Your Own Butt DeviceKick Your Own Butt Device

"I Could Just Kick Myself." Well, now you can!

Did your parents ever tell you all you needed was a swift kick in the butt? If you were in grade school around the time I was - back when no one much cared about your self-esteem or your feelings - you might have heard a teacher say these very same words to/at you. Perhaps when you've screwed up, yet again, you've even uttered these words to yourself under your breath. The obvious problem in this last scenario is that people just aren't built to accomplish such a feat. read more »

Temporary/Portable Nuclear Fallout Shelter: Your Own Little Safety Oasis!


Temporary/Portable Nuclear Fallout ShelterTemporary/Portable Nuclear Fallout Shelter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you've listened to the news lately it might seem as though we are on the brink of another arms race. Oh sure, we've made some progress with North Korea, for now, but what about the rest of the world? If worrying about escalating international tensions is keeping you from making good on your new year's resolution to embark on a diet and fitness program that will help you transform yourself, I've got a patent that could put some of your fears to rest - temporarily - just long enough so that you can get up off the couch and into the gym.

read more »

Great Invention Idea? Robotic Massage Hand


Cyborg Hand MassageCyborg Hand Massage

Have you ever longed for a gentle reassuring touch throughout the day? Would you welcome an occasional touch, rub, or connection to another without all the messy human entanglements that often accompany such a sweet gesture? read more »

Great Invention Idea? Watch That Predicts Your Death


Personal Doomsday WatchPersonal Doomsday Watch

We know many of the vices we enjoy actually accelerate our journey towards oblivion. Furthermore, not knowing exactly how fast we're going is the cause of some considerable anxiety. And anxiety, as you know, makes the time it takes to reach our final destination go even faster! Still not ready to toss out your cigarettes or stop yelling at your spouse? read more »