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GasBGon: Flatulence Filter Seat Cushion

chair_homeInventor Name: Jim & Sharron Huza for Dairiair, LLC
Invention Status: pending
Website: www.gasbgon.com
Inventor Email: jphuza@gasbgon.com
Keywords: Flatulence Filter

Description:

GasBGon seat cushions are designed to eliminate the inherent conflict between someone with intestinal gas and the people within his or her breathing zone.

How it works...
You know how every computer is equipped with a Mute Button and a Delete Button? Well, essentially, that's what we embed inside each of our flatulence filter seat cushions. Acoustical foam serves as a built-in Mute Button. It muffles the sound of a gas outburst. The Delete Button function is provided by a lightweight carbon filter. It adsorbs the odors associated with intestinal gas. Our product slogan is, "Clear the air, not the room." And since many of our sales come from customer referrals, we KNOW the product works.

While we take the issues associated with intestinal gas very seriously, at Dairiair,LLC we have fun with our product and have adopted a "laughter is the best medicine" approach.

We have a Top 10 list "signs that qualify you as a prime candidate for a GasBGon":
1-Your jogging partner nevermade the mistake of falling behind you TWICE.
2-You tend to clear the room if your overheard saying, "I think I'm getting my second wind".


Comments
Apr 23, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

Your product disgusts me! My

Your product disgusts me! My mum raised me to show a little decorum. If you can't even control your own bodily functions for the sake of decency, then you don't deserve to be ranked among other humans!

Apr 23, 2006
by The Nanny (not verified)

Parents Need to Take a More Active Role

Yes--this is something that decent parents should have taught their children how to deal with for the sake of other people. What ever happened to teaching basic social skills so that people, once older but not quite adult-like, would have manners and self-respect?

Even if it does work, who would want to be sitting next to people who are doing this right next to you and pretending that they are not?

With better socialization of children, our society wouldn't have to turn to silly inventions to undo the damage.

Apr 23, 2006
by The Nanny II (not verified)

Naughty Chair

This could be changed to the "Naughty Chair" and placed in the bathroom WHERE IT AND THE PEOPLE NEEDING IT BELONG!!!!!!!!!! Anyone stinking up a room should be sent there immediately and told not to come out until the problem has been eliminated.

Apr 23, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

Cange Your Diet

not your cushion.

Apr 23, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

What about the people who are still standing?

This is silly since not all people are seated when they do this. I think the diet change idea is far superior.

Apr 23, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

Won't tackle seepage problems

So, people could be sitting around using the cushion and think they are safe, only they don't realize that some sh-- has seeped onto their underwear? They continue to sit and do whatever--unrestrained--yet they and anyone near them gets the shock of their lives when they stand up with sh----y underwear? The cushion will give flatulent people a false sense of security and set them up for the biggest embarassment of their lives.

Apr 23, 2006
by Anonymous Faye Cetious (not verified)

Gas shortage

I think you'd be better off trying to find a way to convert this gas into a form that could fuel our vehicles.

While many people are trying to conserve gas due to the ridiculously high gas prices, your product promotes gas guzzling and selfishness. All the energy is stifled and wasted.

The priorities are all wrong.

Apr 24, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

Ad-B-Gone

hope this ad-b-gone soon

Apr 24, 2006
by Anonymous Gaseous Clay (not verified)

Missing the most important cushion

Shouldn't there just be an OUTHOUSE cushion, not an outdoor chair or stadium one? Do you really think people are going to choose a cushion in advance to match the occasion? Are you claiming that these will become so popular that they will be like choosing a jacket or pair of shoes before leaving home?

If you are going to make special occasion cushions, I'd suggest these:

(l) The Mother-of-the-bride Cushion: surrounded by flowers and tinted like the bridesmaids dresses. That way when the groom's family wants to know which is the mother of the bride, the bride can point and say, "The one sitting on the fart cushion"--that also allows the groom to know that the problem may run in the family

(2) The college graduation cushion: black (or other school color) with turd-shaped tassels. When the class valedictorian gives his/her speech, s/he can mention that s/he "blew her classmates away and they didn't even know".

(3) The doctor's office cushion. This one could have a special pouch for collecting and/or transporting a stool specimen.

(4) The practical jokester's cushion: An inert lookalike that enables the jokester to pleasantly surprise any person sitting next to him/her. The jokester can laugh as the others gag and run away, confused over why the smell is so bad when the jokester is sitting on a cushion.