Dating? Looking for a new relationship?
Well, have I got some great dating advice for you.
As my readers already know, I recently wrote an article on 10 Types of Women to Avoid that got me in a lot of hot water. "Misogynist", "pig", and "@$$hole" were some of the kinder labels some readers gave me. Well, those comments annoyed me as I thought them unfair since I am an all around great guy. Really.
After going into hiding, avoiding the small controversy that erupted at various sites, I am now back and ready for the next round of outrage. Frankly, I thought my article was brilliant and I am not going to be silenced by all the stupid femiNazis out there. I figure if you didn't like the article, it was probably cuz it was talking about you!
Well, I had committed in the Women to Avoid article that I would write about Men to Avoid. I really regretted suggesting I would do that as it was almost impossible to find male dolls that were not "adult", and I really did not enjoy looking at all the stupid looking adult male dolls (...and yes, I may someday do an article on them if I can get it through our censors). It only took me about a week of scouring the net to finally realize that dolls for men are called "action figures". Duh!
So here's my dating advice on the 10 Types of Men You Need to Avoid, as highlighted by dolls, I mean male action figures:
10. Men Who Are Always Pissing On Everything:
You know the type; for him nothing you do is good enough. You're too stupid, you're too fat, you're too mouthy. Well, the truth is the guy is an idiot trained from birth from his Neanderthal dad to piss all over you and everything you do. Avoid him like you would a pounding headache.
9. Men Who Are Damaged and Like It:
He's the guy that seems so sensitive and caring when you first meet. He's able to share with you the heartbreak of a broken relationship. You only find out after a few more encounters that he's still nursing a broken heart from the relationship he had with someone over ten years ago.
You slowly realize that he's not so much heartbroken but already committed to never caring about someone again. No matter how much time you spend together, you can never get through. Face it, you never will. The padding around his heart (and his skull) is so thick a neutron bomb won't pierce through it. So give up and get going. He's like a drippy faucet that slowly wears you down with false hope until you just want to smash it.
8. Men Who Love Sports Way Too Much:
There's a fine line between a great guy who loves sports and the raging maniac that loves sports way too much. How can you love sports TOO much? men would ask in befuddlement. For most women, it's obvious. A guy loves sport too much when they would rather watch a game than spend time with you.
I realize that ALL men fall into this category after several months of knowing you, but they will occasionally submit their whipped butts to taking you out or holding your purse as you shop, just to stop your fussing. But the sport fanatic won't care that the house is falling apart, that the baby is crying or that you haven't been out of the house in 4 months. All he'll want is a beer, a TV and "some peace". They are hard to tell apart from the normal healthy male but look out for the signs of obsession, or you'll be stuck watching every lame game the sports channel has to offer and feeding his burping buddies as your friends go out to dinner and to see the hottest new movie every weekend.
7. Men Who Thinks He Knows You:
These are the guys who think they are Freud. They spend all their time thinking and little time actually doing anything constructive. They have put a big label on you after one date and a night of conversation.
He's the guy who sits there watching you, with that stupid smug "I knew it" look on his hound dog face. He's clearly thinking that by putting a label on you, he has you all figured out and knows just what to do to fix you. He looks at you as if you were some broken piece of pottery he's going to glue back together.
What's sad is that he still can't figure out how to get someone to actually like him, so how is he going to fix you?