InventorSpot

Need relationship counseling?

If you need relationship counseling because your relationship is getting boring and stale, I suggested last week folks should just try shaking things up instead. (See 10 Great Ways to REALLY Piss Off Your Woman)

In my Piss Off Your Woman article, I promised to pull together a similar article for the women so that I could avoid being called a "sexist jerk". I am sick of the shrill whining from the ladies with their tattered NOW membership cards.

Trying to think of the ways that women could piss of their men in order to make their relationships more exciting, I couldn't come up with much to write about at first.  Most things just annoy me.

What would trigger you to have a major argument with your woman? Most things would make me just go brood and come back when I am done talking to myself than cause me to create a big heated (hot) fight. So, I was lost. I had no ideas as to what my woman could do to piss me off that did not also make me head straight for my gun or divorce court.

Trolling around the net late last night, I found it. I figured out what I would put up a huge fight over.

We men like being men. We men like feeling like men.

The thing that my woman could do to really piss me off would be to make me feel like a wussy.

It's bad enough my lady asks me to hold her purse and to sit in the shoe department like a castrated bull for hours on end. I think that's bearable as it's within the boundaries of what's ok for many whipped men. It is not unusual to see several of us miserable men huddled together in a corner of the shoe section shooting the breeze about the latest basketball or football game.

When I saw this product, I knew that all men who are men would agree with me that this represents a line in the sand.

We men, in a grudging nod to feminism, are willing to change kids diapers and cook dinner. But there are clearly some things that take the concept of equalizing the sexes and sharing child-raising duties too far...another galaxy too far.

We will not cross this line.

Mr. Milker

Meet Mr. Milker. Every man's nightmare for certain castration and instant wussydom.

You have to see this again!

Mr. Milker

According to the merchant, Mr. Milker addresses breast-feeding envy in men. HUH?!? I know I really love boobies, but not on me! Well, yes I love them on me like on top of me but...well, you know what I mean.

The merchant says ""Breast-Feeding Envy" is what Psychology Today says is the most common and least-discussed concern among today's young parents. Young fathers are quietly suffering the effects of envy over not being able to breast-feed.. it's happening everywhere, and the fathers are not speaking out... but, maybe they don't need to." (I say maybe they shouldn't for fear of a massive @$$kicking from sane men.)

They go on to explain that "Using a classic sports bra design, Mr. Milker includes two bladders, stitched into the chest, capable of holding 12 ounces of milk or formula in each. These two bottles are each fitted with durable, non-toxic, rubber nipples. Men can now feed their infants by wearing Mr. Milker, without the fear that future psychological problems will arise." You can get these for $49.99 here.

Has the world gone insane? All you would need to prepare yourself for Mr. Milker is a faux pregnancy belly product callled Mr. Belly. (I kid you not, it's the products name and you can see more about it here !)

Mr. Belly

Am I right men? Would this be your line in the sand? Can you think of anything that destroys your manhood more effectively than this?

What more indignities must men bear to get a little playtime with missus?

Even hinting that I wear this abomination would really piss me off! This would be the thing that causes us into dreaded sessions of relationship counseling.

Ladies, let me give you some relationship advice and save you some major relationship counseling fees.

If you ask a man to wear this, you are a messed up, castrating $5%$^. How's that for clear communication between the sexes?

Amused and Bemused
AmericanInventorSpot.com

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If you are looking for some great relationship advice, read 10 Great Ways to REALLY Piss Off Your Woman. It's truly brilliant! Read the rest of my rants are at Amused and Bemused's blogs.

Also, please email this to the men you think are on their way to being whipped and show them what lies in their future. Also please post this where ever real men go on the net so they can see what dangers may lie ahead for a man who loves a woman too much.

Men, fight to preserve your manhood or your life with Mr. Milker and a tiny shriveled set of b@lls awaits. Fight castration today!

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If you are interested in reading about cool stuff, take a look at Peer to Peer Coming to a Cell Phone Near You or Row, Row, Row Your Bicycle.