10 Great Toys For the Alcoholic Inside of Us All

Perhaps Homer Simpson said it best, when he toasted, “here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.” Everyone wants to have a good time on New Years Eve, but if you're one of those people who needs to drink so much you don't remember the night itself, then you'll certainly need a few of these great inventions to keep your buzz going all night long.

Best Booze Clothing For Men: Beer Belly

If you're ready for that lovely, flabby gut your grandmother promised you if you ever started drinking likeyour Uncle Jake, you are ready for The Beer Belly. Sure your own stomach will begin to expand over your belt soon enough, but why wait? The Beer Belly helps you achieve your goal to look sexually appalling, while simultaneously making you look fat already. What a great two for one deal! (Buy here)

Best Booze Clothing For Women: The WineRack

This is the girl's equivalent of The Beer Belly. With the WineRack, you can make yourself look more sexually attractive and lower your standards at the same time! The best part is that as his beer goggles start to set in, he'll hardly notice your significantly shrinking bosom. If you're really lucky, maybe you'll even entrap him into a life-long love affair by getting knocked up that night. (Buy here)

Best Unisex Booze Clothing: Hoodie With Beer Pocket

Holding beers while not drinking them is just plain lame. Your hand gets cold, your beer gets warm. And let's face it, beer koozies are somehow just emasculating. With the Brew City Arch Beer Pouch hoody, you can get in a beer-fueled, drunken brawl without ever putting down your precious brew.

Best Booze Decoration: The Can Handle

Here's a great tool for someone who drinks crappy 12 ounce brews, but wants to pretend they're drinking a fine German Ale from a mighty pewter stein. Just clamp the Beerhandle onto any 12 ounce can and walk around pretending like you have much finer taste than you actually could ever dream of having. Also a great gift for Renaissance nerds who can't afford a real stein for their mead.

Best Booze Injector: Beerstick

Bierstick is a brilliant binge drinking accessory that enables you to slam a nice 24 ounces of beer down your throat in a matter of seconds. Who needs braincells when you indulge in glorious alcohol without even having to swallow? And if you really want to get alcohol poisoning, why not just throw some vodka in this bad boy for that oh-so-painless death you've always dreamt of?