Doug4_sm

Are we supposed to glare at his picture, or what?

why he let the bathroom doorclip move to the next round and how a little piece of plastic could be a great American invention in the 2lst Century.

off of the "bathroom survival kit", which is more of HIS idea than hers. "I want you to...." is what Doug told her to do. This is a classic case of the hell with your passion or anyone else's--the bottom line is: How much money can I make off of the product? If I can make a piece of plastic for pennnies and sell the "product" for dollars, I'm rich...barefoot, but rich.

Doug saw a goldmine with the idea and advanced it for ulterior motives. I bet she will be having caviar and champagne with Doug AGAIN.

I think he is thinking that he really doesn't like the hairwig liner, but that he WOULD like to try on the woman's wig, a dress, pantyhose, and high heels AGAIN.

He is wondering if he would attract more personally appealing inventors if he changed Eureka! Ranch to Brokeback! Ranch.

Arby's?

how long it is going to take before someone calls him on that IQ test score and realize that he wears Hawaiian shirts because he feels more like Gilligan.

that he was the model for the Planters Mr. Peanut banks.

I miss you so much! No words can explain my passion for you or what I would do to have another chance to be with you--and ONLY you. (Peter is okay, but I want ALL of your lucious body for myself!) After careful consideration, I have decided to pose for you in the Naughty Knot afterall. I know I overreacted on stage, but I could not stand even the thought of you looking at another woman. (Plus you were sitting closer to Peter than you were to me.)

You know my passion and you know you are my cute little lei man--but, of course, far from a novice in the world of business. I will meet you anywhere, anytime, under any circumstances, and will bring Peter along if you insist. Just PLEASE try to get away from your nagging wife and try to rent a real room this time. I mean, the doorclip works okay but we were, nonetheless, still in a public restroom--not exactly kosher for someone of our standing.

Love always,
You know who,
Mary boo hoo

PS I hope you didn't forget that I REALLY know what women want....I just hope you still got it, my little lei man.

I thought you were my friend and I believed you when you told me that you thought Mary Lou is a dog, but you left out the part about how she begs for you.

I guess you didn't think I'd be reading this section since I told you I like the one about "Not for the anal retentive." I confided in you--and only you--and told you about my long-term psychiatric disorder in which I despise all the shit that comes out of me. You said you could identify with that and so I thought we had a special bond. You are--make that "were"--like an incestuous brother to me.

The TV stardom must be corrupting you. I honestly don't know what to say to you anymore, but you can be assured that I won't be staying overnight at the Ranch anymore--at least not in the same bedroom.

Now you "X"

Ed

PS You may keep the ring...Peter gave it back to me.

Hoss from the "Bonanza" series, but I know that Hoss would have never even considered wearing that kind of shirt--except maybe when cleaning out the barn and picking up manure.

......NOT!!!!!!!!!!