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11 Foolish Ways We Spoil Our Kids

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5. Designer Crystal Candy Dispenser

 

The merchant says about the Swarovski® Crystal Pez Dispensers: " Individually handcrafted by the artisans .. of Beverly Hills, these Pez® dispensers feature America’s most famous cartoon characters, immortalized in Swarovski crystal." See it here.

Can you believe this? How do you justify putting penny candy that gets slobbered in a fancy designer crystal dispenser. For goodness sakes, its cheap candy!

 

 

 

4. Obscenely Extravagant Toy Mansion

Grand Victorian Toy  MansionGrand Victorian Toy Mansion

The merchant of this Grand Victorian Mansion for $19,000 says: "This enchanting play home is straight out of a fairy tale. The outside is picture perfect, including a wraparound porch, a stained glass window, window boxes, a skylight, and doorbell and brass doorknocker. The interior is decorated with a bay window with window seat, sponge-painted walls, simulated hardwood floors, fireplace mantel and an upstairs loft...." See it here.

If this is not good enough for your child, you can also get a custom creation where the architect works directly with you to design the playhouse of your dreams (and your child's dreams). Then, he comes to your home to build it for you on site. Most playhouses come complete with electricity and running water! See it here.

Do you think there is something seriously wrong when little kids have pretend houses that are nicer and bigger than most adult houses? I think kids with houses like these will be seriously disappointed with what they can get for their own dollars when they grow up and go to work. Unless you have a few hundred million to give to your kids, don't mess with their heads...for surely they will grow up bitter and disappointed.

 

3. Budweiser Beer Mini Monster Truck

The merchant says about this gas powered Mini Monster Truck: "Stunning Scale replica of a Budweiser Monster Truck with Dale Earnhardt #8 NASCAR Bud Graphics package... And yes its transmission is an automatic (Centrifugal Clutch) system that even the younger ones in the family can drive with normal left pedal as brake, right pedal as gas (throttle). See it here.

Well, if you need me to explain why a beer promoting miniature truck may not be a wise toy choice for raising unspoiled and responsible children, I am at a loss for what to say.

2. Solid Gold Pacifier with 278 Diamonds

The merchant says " Our sparkly Diamond Pacifiers feature over 278 pave cut white diamonds totaling 3 carats with a 14K European nickel-free white gold base. An exact replica of a real pacifier, Diamond Pacifiers features a genuine silicone nipple and a real moving handle. Pacifiers can be customized with colored diamonds and engraved with baby’s name or initial, birth date or birth weight. Though we do not recommend actual use...."
See it here.

Supposedly, these types of products are bought because they make a statement. I think the statement they make is that you are an idiot. Can you not think of another more thoughtful way to spend $17,000 than to buy a novelty item that you can't even use? I would invest it in a bond and when the kid is 18, they could buy themselves a Ferrari with the proceeds.

 

1. Riding Saddle for Your Back

The merchant says about the Daddle, it's "A soft, stuffed "saddle" for Dad (or Mom) to strap on, to give the give kids (age 2-6) a horsy ride. Offering interactive fun for kids and adults, the Daddle™ is made of washable sturdy cotton, complete with soft saddle horn and adjustable stirrups. Daddle Up!" See it here.

Oh, are you kidding me. Giving a ride to your kid on your back is fun and cute, but it's quite a different story to have to toss and tie on a saddle onto your back. Next, they will be building you a barn to complete the transition for you being a total horse's a$$.

 

Conclusion

Well, looking over these items, I am sure that we spoil our kids more than we spoil our pets (Wackiest Products for Your Dog) . Now, that's an area where I think we truly are a bunch of loons.

Thanks for reading and remember, wacky does not mean it won't sell.

Amused and Bemused
InventorSpot.com Team

Comments
Jul 6, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

WOW! You did come back with a bang!

After reading and agreeing with most of what you wrote, I thought that the various manufacturers of these products are taking the parents for a ride. So, the last picture is not that of a "horsy ride", but of a saddle to ride an ass.

Since it is expensive today to raise kids, they are referred to as "economic burdens". The man in the last picture captures the essence of parents as "beasts of burdens".

Yes, many kids today are spoiled and unappreciative. What adds insult to injury is that they got that way through their parents' credit card debt!!!!!

Jul 7, 2006
by Anonymous F.L. (not verified)

Well Done, Amused and Bemused!

But I must nonetheless offer my perceptions!

(11) Grocery Cart Quilted Covering Pad
--That's a stroller for E.T.'s baby girl, I.C.
--Other aliens, such as Michael Jackson, use them to conceal their kids' faces when going into public grocery stores to get some Peter Pan or to take moon walks

(10) Deluxe Oral Care Kit for Infants
--That's a Baby's Breath Preserver
--No floss (tsk, tsk by the ADA!) and no Listerine--which is the formula for puke breath in its infancy

( 9) Talking Toilet Paper Holder
--How ironic: Just when you can stop Pampering your kid now that s/he is using the toilet, the toilet starts pampering the kid!
--I think this is also available in double and triple rolls for twins and triplets who want to go together, but this may result in some wet sheets

( 8) Faux Fur Bedding for the Bed Wetting Baby
--This is treading on the Piss Sac guy's invention! It amounts to making the bed-wetter wear a raincoat to bed instead of Pea-Js

( 7) Giant Kid's Exercise "Gaming" System
--This is NOT kid-proof: Strenuous exercise can be avoided if the bathroom doorclip is used to attach this contraption to a hand-held game

( 6) Baby Knee Pads
--If only they could stay little 'til their Guarders wear out!
--I see nothing wrong with making Creepy Crawlers out of the little imps

( 5) Designer Crystal Dispenser
--This was originally designed as a surreptitious crystal rock dispenser for Elvis Pezley so that he could smuggle in some Jailhouse Rock

( 4) Obscenely Extravagant Toy Mansion
--Other models are available for the lower classes:
(A) A cheap 6' shoe for poor soles and
(B) In the shape of an 8 for those eligible for subsidized Section 8 Housing
--Latter comes with free cockroaches and rats but no furniture

( 3) Budweiser Beer Miniature Truck
--This clearly enables bottle-raised babies to be more mobile than breast-fed ones, but they may end up less independent if they get confined on a DUI rap

--I KNOW the bottleslingguy is going to go nuts when he reads about "bottles" here! (Please check out his invention before he totally melts.)

( 2) Solid Gold Pacifier with 278 Diamonds
--These are for babies who are used to sucking on the $20,000 breasts that their mothers have after undergoing enhancement surgery. You couldn't possibly expect these babies to advance to sucking on a $2 pacifier, could you? The next stage, afterall, is silver spoons

( 1) Riding Saddle for Your Back
--Ass's saddle sounds about right!
--Instead of a rocking horse, this is a Kentucky Daddy who is off his rocker. It is an improvement over the Romper Room horse's head on a broom stick, but will it sell? I vote "neigh"

Jul 7, 2006
by Michelle
Michelle's picture

Hey Anonymous

I want you to go register for our site, please!! I think people are looking forward to your comments so it would be great for people to be able to find your postings easily.

So, don't waste your talent...go register!

Thanks,

Michelle

Jul 7, 2006
by Andy (not verified)

More money than they know what to do with

It is amazing that there are things like this for parents. I'm sure that these few selections are just the tip of the iceburg. The cloth kinda makes sense, but why do that when you can buy products like viraguard that sprays on the cart. Lots cheaper if you are worried about germs. (I had to use viraguard because my wife is a nurse and they are real bad about germs.)

If people were to buy some of these items, I wish that they would donate to my paypal account with all of this extra money ;)

Andy

Jul 7, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

We are deliberately causing

We are deliberately causing devolution. Reminds me
of my sister in law saying "only Osh Kosh is good enough
for my baby".

Kid turned out to be a class A turd with no concept of
responsibility.

Jul 7, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

lol i like the talking

lol i like the talking toilet thing, i wouldn't talk to my kids i'd be playing pranks on people XD.

Jul 7, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

stumbleupon

Great article.I have stumbled it for you.This may explain the rise in pampered brats we are seeing i.e anyone younger than me!

Jul 7, 2006
by Amused and Bemused

Thanks for Voting for Me Stumblers!

Thanks Anonymous and to all the other Stumble Upon voters who have voted "I Like It" for this article.

If you are a Stumble member, I would very much appreciate your voting for this article if you like it.

I actually think this is one of my better works, although I do sound a bit cranky - don't I?

Thanks,

Amused.

Jul 7, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

Your article is absolutely

Your article is absolutely on the money. As a society, we have really gone insance. When I see all the crap people keep buying and buying, I am simply amazed.

Great article. I am sending it to my DIL, maybe she'll get the not so sublt hint. LOL

Jul 8, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

some of those are not spoiling your kids

The pez and pacifier are like collector items. Much like the diamond encrusted Monopoly game is. Not so much for spoiling your kids.
The cart quilted pad is not such a bad idea same thing as bringing a seat cushion to a basketball game.
I don't see anything wrong with the toothbrush 8 pack. If you buy it and use it it means you actually care for your kid. The way the article stated it as we should just shove them with sugar since their teeth are going to fall out anyway.
The talking toilet paper holder is just a gimmick. I wouldn't be surprised if a parent bought that if it would last a week before it was thrown out.
For the gaming system most adults would see the price tag and not even give it a second look. So you can scratch that one off the list.
The knee pads are ok but I see them being thrown in a corner more than being used.
The toy mansion would be for celebrities who want their kids out of their hair. As I ride up and down the streets I havn't seen any, so scratch that one off the list.
The Budweiser truck is more like a Guy ego thing. Look what I bought the kid today a Budweiser truck, but little Johhny is not allowed to ride it. Oh thats cool. There are tons of Power Wheels that are just as good and those should be on the list.
The daddle is just plain ridiculous. I see people saying I wouldn't use it but wouldn't be a nice gift for the a Armstrong Family they are always playing with their kids.
The only one on the list that seem like your spoiling your kids is the Faux fur bedding. I imagine most parents would have it dry cleaned once or twice and then stick it in the closet or donate it. Come up with a new list. There is a differnce between spoiling your kids or just coming up with expensive kid items that only a a few people could buy. These items would remind me of a celebrity brat. I said I wanted a two story mansion play house. This is only one story I hate you.

Jul 8, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

One you didn't include

One item you didn't include was child sized recliners. That should definatly be on the list.

Jul 8, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

For the one who told Amused

For the one who told Amused to get a new list, give me a break.

You are just a perfect example of what is wrong with our society. Buying crap for whatever reason and wasting money. If you buy it as a "collector" or as an "ego thing", how is that not spoiling kids.

Just rationalize away the fact that this article is talking about you and people like you.

You just explained all the reason to buy this crap...but I don't see anything by you saying its good for the kids or educational or will theach them good values.

A porsche is just as useful as a used honda, but one would be a clear spoil the 16th birthday present.

Jul 8, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

"Come Up With A New List"???????

The list is fine as is if you add one word to your vocabulary list: "sarcasm".

Jul 8, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

Man with the riding saddle

He is preparing for a new horse race: Freakness

Jul 8, 2006
by Anonymous BLUE SUEDE SHOES (not verified)

Elvis Pezley: Return to Sender!

I GOTTA KNOW: Are you asserting that he also had a Contra Band?

If you ASK ME, you're the DEVIL IN DISGUISE. DON'T BE CRUEL. I WAS THE ONE who had a BURNING LOVE for MY BOY when he was WAY DOWN. I FEEL SO BAD. Don't be surprised if you see me CRYING IN THE CHAPEL.

Jul 8, 2006
by paulb (not verified)

Yes ..... and no

Do your research next time. The game "system" is not a system but a controller to use WITH an XBOX or a PS2. The Bud Truck is NOT intended for shildren but an adult who likes toys, such as my self :) Just because you as an adult wouldn't buy it doesn't mean that another adult wouldn't. We all have different tastes.

Jul 8, 2006
by Michelle
Michelle's picture

These are just Amused's opinions...

People read his stuff just to see what he was able to find for this weeks article. I can't believe what he comes up with, even when I don't always agree with his choices.

Yes, there is a heavy dose of sarcasm/ silliness in what he writes. IT"S A BIG JOKE!

He wants his stuff to create discussion and dialogue. As he often says, "one fools wacky is another fools cool." So this is a great article for creating discussion.

It'd be fun to be able to vote on whether this stuff is crazy or cool. I am going to see if we can do voting for this.

Michelle
AmericanInventorSpot.com Team Member

Jul 10, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

Truth hurts

...but at least I've never bought any of those things for MY brat.

Jul 11, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

The Vote Is Already In!

It's a very cool craziness.

Jul 13, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

Is it just me or does the

Is it just me or does the boy in front of the mansion only have one leg?

Jul 14, 2006
by Anonymous Mr. Bentknee (not verified)

"Is it just you?"

No, it's the subtle mannerisms of the elite.

The kids in front of the mansion are the young heirs to their wealthy parents' fortune. If you look at the girl on the left, you will notice that she has to hold her leg up slightly in the heir. Similarly, the boy's lower left leg isn't visible because he is airrogant, knows he has a leg up on his peers, and wants to show off his bentafactor status. He has legs, but no kneeds.

Aug 2, 2006
by Mom2fur (not verified)

Spoiling kids

Oh, please don't call that child a brat. I feel terribly sorry for her! What kind of nutcases burden a 4-year-old baby with something like that? The parents didn't lose control of her...they never had it in the first place, I'll bet. Brats are made, not born...it's 100% the parents' fault. Who's the adult here, anyway? I hope they're socking away some savings for her future therapy, 'cause I bet she's gonna need it.
As far as the products...the shopping cart thingie isnt' so bad. You can get them pretty cheap or even make one. But those knee pads? Are they kidding?

Nov 9, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

these items are not insane i

these items are not insane i had a pacifier just like it when i was younger, the fur bedding so it just would be a lot more nicer to sleep on. the mansion another thing i had as a child the only thing that is a bit insane is the daddle as most perents that can afford this stuff get nannys to raise there child/children which i also have nothing agenst

Nov 18, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

knee pads aren't all bad...

I stumbled on this article because I was actually looking for the knee pads! I know they seem silly but my little one has eczema and really dry skin...the carpet will really tear him up when he starts crawling. So I see a $25.00 pair of knee pads as an easy solution that beats new flooring! I think getting new flooring so baby won't get torn up knees would be classified as spoiling. As for the other stuff (except the shopping cart thing which as a nurse I can see the need for), give me a break...the author is right on.

Aug 7, 2008
by Anonymous

Debating on ordering the knee pads myself

I am very close to my parents so my son spends a lot of time at their house. They live in the parsonage of a small town Baptist church so the carpet hasn't been replaced in years. It's old and rough. My son just started crawling a few days ago so we went to visit my parents. They couldn't wait to see him crawl! He crawled maybe a foot then laid down and cried. I brushed it off as fussiness and said we'd try again later. I noticed his knees were red but as the night went on, they didn't get any better. He only crawled about a foot and had terrible rug burn on both knees. I also have hard wood floors throughout my house and I'm not sure how he'll do on those yet as he is my first child.
I did find on Onestepahead.com cushoined knee protectors that look like thick tube socks for only around $6. I may try those first. I tried making my own with tall socks but they were either too thin, too tight at the band, or too loose and rolled down. If all else fails, I'll buy the knee pads. Call it spoiling if you want, but I will spend $20 to ensure my child is able to develop his motor skills without pain.

Aug 7, 2008
by Anonymous

Own and Recommend the Cart Cover

I received a cart cover as a gift before my son was born. True, I feel as though people view me as overprotective when we stroll down the aisle but I love mine for many reasons.
1) Support- The straps held my son in place when he was too young to sit unsupported but too old to sit in his infant seat during the entire trip. He was also 9lb 1 oz when he was born. I was 110 before I got pregnant so carrying him through the store feels like walking 3 miles with my spine twisted like a question mark.
2) Padding- My son loves to rock back and forth so much he has a constant red mark on his back from the highchair and bath tub. He gets excited when he sees people, toys, lights, etc. in the store and begins to rock. The metal cart bars hurt.
3) Toys- Because it covers the entire seat, I can sit toys next to him or he can drop toys and pick them up himself without them falling onto the dirty floor or in between the bars into the cart and right onto my frozen hamburger. The cloth that covers the handle bars also has three short straps that attach to toys.
4) Germs- The fact that prevents my son from licking, chewing, or touching the germ infested handle is not my primary reason for using the cart cover but it is definitely an added bonus.
5) Safety- I know I can use a disinfectant wipe or spray but how about those seat belts? If they are functional, they are disgusting! The seat belts are there for a reason. Sometimes I have to step away from the front of the cart to unload groceries or grab an item. Without a belt, he is still small enough to either slide too far to one side and fall over or completely fall out. The seat belt also provides me a few seconds of reaction time if a stranger tries to take him out. Maybe I'm overprotective but those aren't risks I'm willing to take... EVER!
Although my cover folds into an attached bag just slightly larger than my fist, I don't mess with it if I'm just running in for a box of diapers but it is great to have for hour long grocery trips!

Feb 28, 2009
by Anonymous

mind ur own bussiness

lol, o.k old person, i'm 12 years old and i know that you think, parents are spoiling their

children too much, and it's ok 2 to give ur opinion, but, don't u think, u should be minding ur own business??, i mean "so??" what if parents are spoiling their children,

they can if they want to, and they can if they got the cash. ~ ~
O

Feb 28, 2009
by Anonymous

my sis

ur sooooo right, like, for example, my pig of a sister, she's 12 years old, and she gets whatever she wants, a macbook air, ipod, iphone, she's an apple fan i'm 10 years old, her little brother, i think, my parents are spoiling her!! : (