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5. Designer Crystal Candy Dispenser
The merchant says about the Swarovski® Crystal Pez Dispensers: " Individually handcrafted by the artisans .. of Beverly Hills, these Pez® dispensers feature America’s most famous cartoon characters, immortalized in Swarovski crystal." See it here.
Can you believe this? How do you justify putting penny candy that gets slobbered in a fancy designer crystal dispenser. For goodness sakes, its cheap candy!
4. Obscenely Extravagant Toy MansionGrand Victorian Toy Mansion
The merchant of this Grand Victorian Mansion for $19,000 says: "This enchanting play home is straight out of a fairy tale. The outside is picture perfect, including a wraparound porch, a stained glass window, window boxes, a skylight, and doorbell and brass doorknocker. The interior is decorated with a bay window with window seat, sponge-painted walls, simulated hardwood floors, fireplace mantel and an upstairs loft...." See it here.
If this is not good enough for your child, you can also get a custom creation where the architect works directly with you to design the playhouse of your dreams (and your child's dreams). Then, he comes to your home to build it for you on site. Most playhouses come complete with electricity and running water! See it here.
Do you think there is something seriously wrong when little kids have pretend houses that are nicer and bigger than most adult houses? I think kids with houses like these will be seriously disappointed with what they can get for their own dollars when they grow up and go to work. Unless you have a few hundred million to give to your kids, don't mess with their heads...for surely they will grow up bitter and disappointed.
3. Budweiser Beer Mini Monster Truck
The merchant says about this gas powered Mini Monster Truck: "Stunning Scale replica of a Budweiser Monster Truck with Dale Earnhardt #8 NASCAR Bud Graphics package... And yes its transmission is an automatic (Centrifugal Clutch) system that even the younger ones in the family can drive with normal left pedal as brake, right pedal as gas (throttle). See it here.
Well, if you need me to explain why a beer promoting miniature truck may not be a wise toy choice for raising unspoiled and responsible children, I am at a loss for what to say.
2. Solid Gold Pacifier with 278 Diamonds
The merchant says " Our sparkly Diamond Pacifiers feature over 278 pave cut white diamonds totaling 3 carats with a 14K European nickel-free white gold base. An exact replica of a real pacifier, Diamond Pacifiers features a genuine silicone nipple and a real moving handle. Pacifiers can be customized with colored diamonds and engraved with baby’s name or initial, birth date or birth weight. Though we do not recommend actual use...."
See it here.
Supposedly, these types of products are bought because they make a statement. I think the statement they make is that you are an idiot. Can you not think of another more thoughtful way to spend $17,000 than to buy a novelty item that you can't even use? I would invest it in a bond and when the kid is 18, they could buy themselves a Ferrari with the proceeds.
1. Riding Saddle for Your Back
The merchant says about the Daddle, it's "A soft, stuffed "saddle" for Dad (or Mom) to strap on, to give the give kids (age 2-6) a horsy ride. Offering interactive fun for kids and adults, the Daddle™ is made of washable sturdy cotton, complete with soft saddle horn and adjustable stirrups. Daddle Up!" See it here.
Oh, are you kidding me. Giving a ride to your kid on your back is fun and cute, but it's quite a different story to have to toss and tie on a saddle onto your back. Next, they will be building you a barn to complete the transition for you being a total horse's a$$.
Well, looking over these items, I am sure that we spoil our kids more than we spoil our pets (Wackiest Products for Your Dog) . Now, that's an area where I think we truly are a bunch of loons.
Thanks for reading and remember, wacky does not mean it won't sell.
Amused and Bemused