10 Types of Bosses You Need to Avoid
5. Avoid the Boss That Is Always Competing With You
Video Game ToiletThis boss suffers from "I need to prove I am not the weakest link" syndrome.
Have you ever had a boss that makes everything a competition?
These are the jerks that can't just be happy with the fact that they rule over your workday. They need to get the daily ego boost of winning, even it's just proving they can eat a sandwich faster than you.
Had a nice weekend, he had a better one. Bought yourself a flat-screen tv, his is bigger. Leased a new BMW? Hers is a Porsche. These are the bosses who can't go to the bathroom without covertly peeking over to your urinal to see if you would win the "whose the biggest in the locker room" test.
4. Avoid the Boss That's All Talk
This boss suffers from "diarrhea of the mouth" syndrome, constantly spewing dribble until nothing is left.
These are the bosses that walk around telling everyone their pathetically unfunny story or joke of the day. They are the ones that need to take over every meeting, forcing everyone to swallow their bull. For these bosses, sucking up time is what they do best. These big mouths also tend to be backstabbing hypocrites, telling you how great you areto your face as they snicker over your latest goof with everyone else in the office.
If you have one these bosses, tell them to shut their big gaping trap and tell their story to someone else. (toilet here)
3. Avoid the Boss That's Always on the Go
Toilet BikeThis boss suffers from "if I pretend to be busy, you'll find someone else" syndrome.
There are bosses that are zipping around, never in one place long enough to actually do any work. These bosses often travel a lot and complain about it but find every opportunity to get out of the office. With the frenzy that surrounds them and their packed appointment book, there is no time to spare for a lowly slug like you. They are very good at delegating tasks and you are unsure as to whether they can do anything else but shove more work on you as they leave the office for one more trip.
If you have one these bosses, use them for inspiration and zip yourself go somewhere else. (toilet here)
2. Avoid the Boss That's Obsessed with Sex
Rear End ToiletsThis boss suffers from "I never get any at home so all I can do is talk ABOUT IT" syndrome.
Every workplace seems to have the office letch. The pig that has to leer and make a sexual comments every time someone attractive walks by. They are the first to note that a "sweater" is nice, as they stare at your breasts or tell you they are waiting for a big "package" to be delivered, as they lick their lips and look at your crotch.
It's bad enough to have to deal with them at work but it's unbearable when they are your boss. Trying to look up your skirt when you're crossing your legs if you're hot (or making you feel like a cow chip if you are not), they can be relied upon to offer blush-worthy commentary on everything. You can tell you have one of these bosses if everything they say is filled with sexual innuendo and they even talk about the toilet as some sexual conquest.
If you have let's talk dirty boss, you should get another. It will only be a matter of time before you participate in the lewd talk to fit in, only to find charges of sexual harassment brought against you. Your boss will be too important to fire but you won't be. (toilet here via Porcelain Poetry)
1. Avoid the Boss That Will Eat You Alive
Jaws ToiletThis boss suffers from "I was a nerd in high school but now I can be a bully" syndrome.
There are those bosses that are simply terrors to work with. Impatient, nasty and mean, they dismiss all of your contributions and belittle you at every turn.
These bosses are great yellers, and when you think of them, all you can think of is a big snarling mouth. This type of boss won't hesitate to throw a tantrum, scream profanities as they smash things around the office and hurl books and pencils at you.
If you have a man-eating boss, you need to break free from their nasty grasp. Life is too short to work for someone that's not even worthy of licking your toilet bowl...so flush them away like the turds they are. (toilet here)
Well, you have now been through the 10 Types of Bosses You Need to Avoid. I am sure I have only touched the dirty surface of the bosses we've all had to work with.
So what are the ones I missed? Do you have a horror story to share about your lousy boss so that it makes my boss seem like a saint in comparison?
Amused and Bemused
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