Log in   •   Sign up   •   Subscribe  feed icon

10 Types of Bosses You Need to Avoid

(CLICK HERE TO GO BACK TO PRIOR PAGE)

 

5. Avoid the Boss That Is Always Competing With You

Video Game ToiletVideo Game ToiletThis boss suffers from "I need to prove I am not the weakest link" syndrome.

Have you ever had a boss that makes everything a competition?

These are the jerks that can't just be happy with the fact that they rule over your workday. They need to get the daily ego boost of winning, even it's just proving they can eat a sandwich faster than you.

Had a nice weekend, he had a better one. Bought yourself a flat-screen tv, his is bigger. Leased a new BMW? Hers is a Porsche. These are the bosses who can't go to the bathroom without covertly peeking over to your urinal to see if you would win the "whose the biggest in the locker room" test.

If you have one these bosses, drop out as a contestant in their biggest loser marathon. (Toilet here via BoingBoing)

 

 

 

4. Avoid the Boss That's All Talk

Kiss ToiletKiss Toilet

This boss suffers from "diarrhea of the mouth" syndrome, constantly spewing dribble until nothing is left.

These are the bosses that walk around telling everyone their pathetically unfunny story or joke of the day. They are the ones that need to take over every meeting, forcing everyone to swallow their bull. For these bosses, sucking up time is what they do best. These big mouths also tend to be backstabbing hypocrites, telling you how great you areto your face as they snicker over your latest goof with everyone else in the office.

If you have one these bosses, tell them to shut their big gaping trap and tell their story to someone else. (toilet here)

 

 

 

3. Avoid the Boss That's Always on the Go

Toilet BikeToilet BikeThis boss suffers from "if I pretend to be busy, you'll find someone else" syndrome.

There are bosses that are zipping around, never in one place long enough to actually do any work. These bosses often travel a lot and complain about it but find every opportunity to get out of the office. With the frenzy that surrounds them and their packed appointment book, there is no time to spare for a lowly slug like you. They are very good at delegating tasks and you are unsure as to whether they can do anything else but shove more work on you as they leave the office for one more trip.

If you have one these bosses, use them for inspiration and zip yourself go somewhere else. (toilet here)

 

 

 

2. Avoid the Boss That's Obsessed with Sex

Rear End ToiletsRear End ToiletsThis boss suffers from "I never get any at home so all I can do is talk ABOUT IT" syndrome.

Every workplace seems to have the office letch. The pig that has to leer and make a sexual comments every time someone attractive walks by. They are the first to note that a "sweater" is nice, as they stare at your breasts or tell you they are waiting for a big "package" to be delivered, as they lick their lips and look at your crotch.

It's bad enough to have to deal with them at work but it's unbearable when they are your boss. Trying to look up your skirt when you're crossing your legs if you're hot (or making you feel like a cow chip if you are not), they can be relied upon to offer blush-worthy commentary on everything. You can tell you have one of these bosses if everything they say is filled with sexual innuendo and they even talk about the toilet as some sexual conquest.

If you have let's talk dirty boss, you should get another. It will only be a matter of time before you participate in the lewd talk to fit in, only to find charges of sexual harassment brought against you. Your boss will be too important to fire but you won't be. (toilet here via Porcelain Poetry)

 

 

 

1. Avoid the Boss That Will Eat You Alive

Jaws ToiletJaws ToiletThis boss suffers from "I was a nerd in high school but now I can be a bully" syndrome.

There are those bosses that are simply terrors to work with. Impatient, nasty and mean, they dismiss all of your contributions and belittle you at every turn.

These bosses are great yellers, and when you think of them, all you can think of is a big snarling mouth. This type of boss won't hesitate to throw a tantrum, scream profanities as they smash things around the office and hurl books and pencils at you.

If you have a man-eating boss, you need to break free from their nasty grasp. Life is too short to work for someone that's not even worthy of licking your toilet bowl...so flush them away like the turds they are. (toilet here)

 

Well, you have now been through the 10 Types of Bosses You Need to Avoid. I am sure I have only touched the dirty surface of the bosses we've all had to work with.

So what are the ones I missed? Do you have a horror story to share about your lousy boss so that it makes my boss seem like a saint in comparison?

Amused and Bemused
Featured Blogger
InventorSpot.com

If you like this article, please help us out by posting it on DIGG, Stumble or voting for it on your favorite site.

Comments
Oct 22, 2006
by Anonymous Peeter Better (not verified)

Even if you have shitty bosses, those are still toilets!

(10) Toilet Office:
-That's the new multi-functional dental chair that addresses oral and anal cavities, designed for people who are scared to sh-- of going to the dentist but don't have to be embarrassed anymore. Laughing and/or real gas adds to the patient's enjoyment.

( 9) Between A Women's Leg Toilet:
-That's the Urinidiot Chomode for people who regret having had sex-change operations. The surgery is finally behind them, but they remain confused over their sexual identity and experience confusion anytime they go back into a laboratory (e.g., "Do I stand or do I sit?")

( 8) Clown Toilet:
-No laughing matter, this is Walmart and Taco Bell's joint solution to customers with explosive diarrhea and the numerous part-time janitors they lost because they refused to wipe sh-- off the walls for minimum wage and no benefits. (You think your job stinks?)

( 7) Fish-N-Flush Toilet:
-That's the new energy-efficient fish aquarium that doesn't require an air pump since it utilizes human gas bubbles. The manufacturers--in response to reports of floating fish--are currently working on inventing flatulence cushion-based gill-protectors for the goldfish.

( 6) Musical Instrument Toilet:
-That's the Band-aid solution for flatulent people in public restrooms. When they want to cover up their toots--whether accidental, squeaky/sneaky, or Richter level--they simply choose from an ensemble of cover-up sound effects. Proper synchronization will require some practice sessions during offpeak times.

( 5) Video Game Toilet:
-Finally, someone has acknowledged that you could be standing around pissing and realize that's not all you gotta do...or wanna do. This is a three-stage feel-good body elimination toilet--or a Piss-Shit-and-Really-Come-Mode. (Note that the middle toilet is soiled.) Aaahhhhh.

( 4) Kiss Toilet:
-That's an automatic penis wiper. Too many guys were coming out of restrooms looking like they just took a pee pee.

( 3) Toilet Bike:
-That's a Go-Mode for people who don't want to miss their bus or plane, but--until now--couldn't quite yet leave home due to sudden urges and more pressing needs.

( 2) Rear End Toilets:
-There have always been Master Bedrooms, so Master Public Bathrooms were overdue. The things you were not permitted to do in public is now allowed in these public MASTERbaterooms.

( l) Jaws Toilet:
-This toilet with grooves shaped like Jaws is actually a flatulence cushion screen holder for people with sensitive noses. The screen is put in place and allows free flow of fecal but not stinkal matter.

Sep 6, 2007
by J Niga (not verified)

blah

blah

Nov 29, 2007
by Shawn Dones (not verified)

My current boss

Great article. My "current" boss is number 7.