10 Ways to Silly Up Your Christmas
6. Forget a Wreath for the Car, Think Reindeer Antlers
Rather than attaching a wreath to the front grill of your car, think about antlers for your ride. It's really how "Santa" gets all the gift to your house, so why deny it?
Merchant says "Reindeer Car Antlers - Dash through the snow in pure holiday style as you haul that sleigh-load around in your red-nosed vehicle. Over-sized 16" jingle-bell plush antlers clip over your closed windows, while the bright red 6" nose attaches with sturdy wire."
7. Forget the Red Velvet Stockings, Put Out Monster Stockings
Instead of the same old red stocking with the white fur trim that no one can actually wear, try stockings that are perfect for the little monsters that really live in your house.
Merchant says "Dragon: round toes can be filled with tiny treats and are tipped with fierce satin claws!"
8. Forget Coal in the Stockings, Think Poop for the Stockings
Why give coal to those who have been bad? Make your gift giving a bit more interesting by giving them sh*t... Snowman Sh*t.
Merchant says "Snowman Poop Soap - The words on the bag say: You've been naughty so here's the scoop. All you get for Christmas is Snowman POOP! Lovely coconut fragrance.
9. Forget Pretty Icicle Garland, Think Barbed Wire Tree Garland
Why decorate your tree and then have someone topple it. If you use this distinctive tree garland made from barbed wire, I am certain no one will accidentally touch the Christmas tree and knock it over.
Merchant says "A black shoe string is realistically painted to appear like an old rusted barbed wire fence. For a touch of the Old West or just some real cowboy country charm, this 6' garland will make your tree the coolest rootin' tootin' tree your friends have ever seen! And because this garland is so versatile, the earthy tones also make it possible to be displayed as a crown of thorns when twisted into a circle for a truly unique spin that is sure to make a conversation piece on your tree."
10. Forget the Real Live Tree Altogether, Think Christmas Tree Poster
Why, oh why, get a real tree when its creates a ton of work for yourself? You have to spend hours and hours setting up the tree and decorating it. And, then, only a few days later, your going to have spend more time taking the tree down. Avoid the hassle with a picture...a picture worth a thousand hours of free TV time.
Merchant says "The heart-warming image of a family decorating a Christmas tree is a festive classic: stockings hanging above the fireplace as mom and dad arrange the tinsel; faces lighting up as twinkling lights are draped across branches; holiday tunes playing on the radio as cockney street urchins throw snowballs outside...hang on, we're confusing our eras here....The point is this cozy clich? is a load of movie malarkey. Put simply, Christmas trees are a freakin' nightmare. It's a miracle if the lights work, there are needles and smashed balls all over the floor and you can never quite reach the fairy (insert your own joke here). And that's after you've nearly broken your back carrying the thing home."
Oh, I forgot to mention, for anyone wanting the Reindeer Car Outfit, you can find it pretty much everywhere including at Amazon here. Well, I hope you like some of my ideas for turning your humdrum Christmas to something a bit more entertaining.
Happy Holidays Everyone!
(EDITOR'S UPDATE: Links to items that are sold out and no longer available have been removed. Updated December 2014.)
Amused and Bemused
Wacky Products Writer