Attention Helicopter Parents, your child could be at risk in the “safety” of their own home! The perpetrators: every single door of every single room… and maybe a few double doors in double rooms too.
Wassamatta, can’t handle the truth? Can’t get a handle on the danger lurking in every entranceway? Can’t figure out what we’re getting at ‘cuz you’re a doorknob who doesn’t care if their child becomes a kid-kabob Aha, the light went on now, hmm? Turn that off, don’t you know light bulbs get hot?
Well, parent-of-the-year, all’s forgiven as long as you rush out to Tokyu Hands right now and – yes, it’s in Tokyo, what’s your point? – and buy enough Waffle Handles to cover each and every exposed, eye-level (to a child), pointy metal door handle in the house… and a couple of extras in case the dog chews up one or two.
Plus, you’ll need to get a half-dozen or so for Gramps & Gran’s place so you can start going there again. If you don’t, shame on you. You’re a bad parent who’s bad and should feel bad.
Each 4” (10cm) long Waffle Handle… actually more of an Accordion Handle if you think about it, is made from soft, springy, kid-friendly, lead-free polystyrene foam.
They’re made in China (gulp!) and fasten without the need for tools, screws or glue. As an extra bonus, they’re anti-static and exude a pleasant piney aroma. Just kidding, they don’t really smell but they ought to, dag-nabbit!
Tokyu Hands offers the 720 yen (about $9.50) Waffle Handle in your choice of Nori (black) or Avocado (green), though the ad copy depicts one in Safety Orange… obviously that’s the one you should be buying. One wonders why the Waffle Handle doesn’t glow in the dark to prevent any unforeseen collisions during overnight bathroom visits. Ah, I love the smell of class action lawsuits in the morning! (via Rocketnews24)
