Lighted Bicycle Helmet Goes Great With Your 2nd Grade Hall Monitor Jacket

3 Min Read

I remember when I was a kid, there was a guy that lived somewhere in my greater neighborhood that used to cycle around with a bright yellow vest, bicycle helmet with built-in rear-view mirrors and giant orange flag sticking off the back-end of the bike. Mind you, those might all be useful if we lived on a busy highway, but we’re talking quiet, suburban neighborhood with nary a car going over 30 mph.

This same gent also used to jog around the neighborhood carrying a radio (no headphones) playing strange music from the 1950’s. And I’m pretty sure he’s the same guy that I once caught cross country skiing down the road on two inches of snow– beyond weird in central New Jersey.

Even as a young child I knew there was something seriously odd and virginish about this guy. I may not have even been able to define a virgin, but I could have confidently categorized him as such.

When I saw this helmet with integrated headlight/tailight, I immediately thought of that guy. I can say with a good degree of authority, that he has one of these hanging over his road bike. Because I’m pretty sure you’d have to be a huge safety geek to ever where something like this.

CrunchGear, where I originally found this Lazer Urbanize Bicycle Helmet, describes it as "looks cooler than mine", and even, "stylish". Now there’s three scenarios I can think of to respond to that. Either the guy has the oldest, lamest helmet still available on the market–or–he’s looking at a totally different helmet than what’s pictured–or–the giant bicycle geek from my childhood neighborhood is named Frank Zhang. Because that $100 Urbanize is not cooler than any helmet.

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Don’t get me wrong; I think the safety enhancement provided by an integrated headlight and taillight is great. I just don’t think that it should be done in such a thick, oversized, bowl-shaped way.

On the plus side, you get to decide what color to shade your geekiness: green, espresso, blue, black and even pink. I’m guessing flaming bike dweeb chose the pink–very visible at night. You can get the Lazer Urbanize Bicycle Helmet here.

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