My girlfriend has a great teddy bear. He looks all happy, has a giant head, and proudly carries the wear and tear of being hugged since she was a little girl. This little guy exudes happiness and love. Here. Take a look:
Mr. Bear rules.
See. Told ya.
I think you’d agree with me that Granger Evermore, of the Teddy Scares, is quite different from my girlfriend’s bear:
Gah!!!!
I don’t know if I would snuggle with that. I’d be afraid. Then again, it would probably keep the Boogie-man at bay…
Hear no evil?
Teddy Scares are unique stuffed animals for those of us with a sense for the morbid. See, these little guys are supposed to be re-animated from beyond the grave. Yep. Zombie Teddy Bears.
Mundy Drudge looks like he smells…
Each Teddy Scare comes with a biography. For example, Redmond Gore (above) likes "sharpening his axe and splicing wires" and has a past occupation as a school bus driver. Creepy.
They come in both 6 inch and 12 inch sizes. Whichever you purchase depends on how well you wish to sleep at night. The little 6 inch version could probably only maim you; the 12 inch, however… well, I remember Chucky from Child’s Play. He wasn’t much larger than 12 inches and look at how much damage he did.
Still, there’s a soft spot in my heart for these little guys. It’s not their fault that they’re homicidal. They’re just raised from the dead that way.
Plus, who doesn’t like a girl in a school uniform:
Rita Mortis
…even if she has glowing red eyes and carries a baseball bat.
Sleep tight, kiddies…
You can find the Teddy Scares at Amazon.com here and at Things That Go Boo.
